A
female
age
41-50,
*olly2944
writes:Hi Everyone,I am new on this site but I just want to ask some advice on my current situation? I was in a four year relationship that really was just friends with benefits. Anyway He and I parted ways about 6 months ago when he started to have feelings for another woman that were more of a romantic love than me. I was devestated but upon looking back I know that I was just upset at losing someone to another woman my ego was badly bruised and it was not really love in the romantic way. Now I am going to take you back to about 7 months ago before we stopped seeing eachother a friend of his that I ran into told me that he had harbored a crush on me for about two years but knew I was with John so he did not do anything about it and he got involved in another relationship as well. He involved with this woman up until about 6 months ago. Anyway a friendship started to develop between me and this guy and our chemistry was intense. We moved in really fast and he said he had not felt this way about anyone since his ex-wife. We have mutual friends and everyone said he glowed when he was with me and his family said they had never seen him like this before so comfortable and touchy. This is not a toucy guy he was all over me all of the time. He would just kiss me in the middle of anything we were doing and tell me how beautiful I was and I started to fall in love. He actually gave me butterflies and I have not had that in a long time I never had that with anyone before. A few days ago out of the blue he broke up with me and told me that he thought he would be in love by now. I said to him it has only been 4 months since we started and he said his feelings did not change they stayed the same that yes they are strong but he thought they would have gotten stronger. Now granted I do need to say that when his ex wife left him he was devestated and he said he was worried when he got involved with me that he had to some work on himself not to get over her but he has some emotionally available issues so it took him a month to even start dating me because he was battling with his feelings for me and then the desire to want to work on himself but he caved and we started dating. He would miss me after a few days of not talking to me so we started dating. Anyway I went to his house to give him his keys back and so on and he looked at me and hugged me and I said I know you have feelings for me and he said of course I do and I am so sad about this because I feel like he is scared. I feel so confused about why he did this and if anyone thinks he is just confused or what. I do not think there is another woman. He said to me I am worried that if I can not fall in love with you then he is scared he can not fall in love with anyone and he needs time to work on himself but he wants to still be friends. I feel like I want him to see what it is like without me. What should I do. I did tell him that no matter what I want no sexual contact. We almost kissed last night and I just hugged him and he trouble letting me go and when we were in that awkward moment when he looked like he could kiss me I just kissed him on the lips quickly and told him to have a good night. It was not a big kiss at all. Anyway what should I do. I really want him back. But I know to give him space.
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broke up, crush, ex-wife, friend with benefits, his ex, moved in Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Molly2944 +, writes (13 October 2007):
Molly2944 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI wanted to thank peoriaman for your advice. I really liked what you said.
A
female
reader, Molly2944 +, writes (12 October 2007):
Molly2944 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionOh god I think I gave too much information. I don't want the guy who was the friends with benefits the man that I was with the last 4 months is the one that I am struggling with.
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