A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I just left my fiance of 3yrs and cancelled our wedding. He was very insecure and always gave me hell if i wanted to go out with a friend, we wanted different things in life and grew apart over the years. He is beyond devestated by my leaving, but I strangly feel ok. Is that wrong of me? Or has it not hit me yet? We still have our house to sell before either of us can fully move on. But I feel bad for not feeling a deeply hurt as him. Does that mean I made the right choice?
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female
reader, advicegem  +, writes (24 June 2009):
 Yes!! You made the right choice, and the fact that you are still comfortable with your decision afetr having made it only confirms that.
Yuo have the advantage in being the one calling off the relationship because you obviously had to think about it and go through whatever decision making process to get to that point. In effect, you already worked through all your doubts and feelings in private and are now feeling relief at having done it.
He, however, did not have the benefit of knowing it was coming, and so he is going through that process now, and furthermore, the decision has already been made for him so he has a little more to contend with.
Hopefully through the process of selling the house, you'll start to see him coming to terms with it, and maybe become friends now that he can't control you.
Hopefully it goes smoothly and you both find future happiness with the right people :)
A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (24 June 2009):
 I think it does mean you made the right choice.
Maybe it was a case of cold feet. Only time will tell, but if you ask me, I think you just out-grew the guy.
It would have been really wrong for you to "string" him (and yourself) along any further. He isn't the one for you. He might be hurting now, nothing you can really do about that. But in 10 years he will hopefully be able to look back and see it was the right thing to do.
I hope you guys get to sell the house fast. And honestly, don't suggest that the two of you can be "just" friends. That is not what he wants. It won't help him either to move on.
Don't second guess yourself. Be happy!
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (24 June 2009): Well if you feel ok, you did the right thing. It seems you don't love this guy anymore and it would've been a huge mistake if you married him. I know perhaps he is really hurt, but at least he has the chance to meet someone who's a better fit for him, and you can do the same.
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