A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:hey all this is kind of long so thanks for taking the time to read it if you can.Been with my partner for a year now. i love him so much as he does me. there is just one thing that is ruining us, and that is my trust issues, i got hurt badly by past boys, one broke my heart and the others just used me. now all i seem to do is accuse my partner of all kinds of things, if he is late or wants to spend time with his family i accuse him of being with someone else, at first he said it will all get better and i will learn how to trust him, but i seem to be getting worse and im pushing him away more and more, he already goes off for hours when he says he will be back a certain time he never is, he has been really off with me, and he said im becoming possesive and that im ruining things. i hate being like this and really want to trust, i now have a baby on the way, and i opened my eyes and realised i cant keep doing this to him, i really want to get better for the sake of our baby, i dont want it growing up without a dad, or with issues like mine, because thats the way its going to go. im already losing my boyfriend, he does everything to get away from me and i dont blame him. can you give me any ideas on what to say to him to make him believe that i really am going to change, and give me some advice on how to trust again. please help, i dont want to lose him. Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (26 April 2010): You just have to sit and think of how this man is treating you, what he has proven to you till now.
If his acts have proven him to be not worth your trust,then don't trust him
But if he has been good and has proven to you that his love is here to stay,then just tell him openly that your problem is worrying you and that you don't want to continue doing this to him.This will help,at first.Then,you have to work with your thoughts.Everytime a bad thought comes to your mind,you have to think it again , with logic.
Hope i helped.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (26 April 2010): the fact that you're asking advice on how to learn to trust and not be so possessive should be enough for him to believe it. And as for actually learning to trust you just have to relax.it seems like he's never actually given you any reason not to trust him, he is only trying to have a bit of breathing space as you seem to be paranoid over such small things. Just take it easy, you have a baby on the way rememeber. Not all men are assholes so you just need to give your boyfriend the chance to show you that he's different from the others.
stay strong and stop worrying about such small things like him being a little bit late or wanting to spend a bit of time wih family!
best of luck
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A
female
reader, Isa123  +, writes (26 April 2010):
 It's time to take a break from your boyfriend. You obviously have some personal issues you need to let go before you ruin your relationship.
My advice to you is take time for yourself. Give him space. And as much as you want to yell at him for being late or not keeping on schedule, don't. Keep it all to yourself.
You two are going to have children. You need to open up your heart. He's not those other boys that hurt you before. You have chosen someone much better and who truly deserves you. You love him. He loves you.
Just take a break and give time to eachother before you completely tear this relationship apart.
Good luck to you.
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