A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I recently asked my girlfriend how many people she has slept with and she said 6. Than a few weeks later she told me the truth of 14. She told me she made big mistakes in high school and shes not what she use to be. Yes, she has definitely changed and is a great girl. But this hurt me bad, because i only slept with 2 people prior to her and never liked how girls have been with a lot of people. I love her and want to get this out of my head bad. I want the relationship to be where it was before she told me 14. I love her and want to get this out of my head. Its been 2 days, but im just looking for a little help if you could.My other problem is that im questioning if i do love her. and when i do i always say i do love her. the reason i do this, is 3 years ago i lost feelings for an ex-girlfriend and was afraid of it happening again to me. And sometimes im afraid this is it. I find my self sometimes crying to pictures of her or music that reminds me of her because im afraid to lose feelings for her and dont want to. does this mean im not losing feelings for her? and im just scared? its just when i look at her i think about what she told me. and no one just loses feelings for some over a 24 hour period. is this going to take time? i need all the advice to get over this. i know i love her, this is just killing me right now and i need to get over it. i know i dont want to lose her because she is a great girl.
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male
reader, daniel123456789  +, writes (23 January 2014):
I got the same problem it alright saying leave it in the past but its so hard really it kill in side.
She tell me she love me and she wants to spend the rest of her life with me bbut all the people she slep with tures out I know them all. some time me and her bump in to her ex and I can just see the way thay look at her and the way she looks at them there past POPs up in there back of there minds
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (10 March 2009): Don't get sidetracked into thinking about insecurities or judging her or any of that. The only way to deal with this is to not deny what has happened to YOU here.
This bothers you so much because you got serious about one girl and then found out she is actually someone different. If you had known this about her before you started seeing her, then you might have made a different decision about seeing her at all.
But she lied to you until you had gotten very deep into the relationship. So now you have been trapped into a position of feeling very hurt that you were powerless to avoid. (And most people you talk to about it are going to tell you that you shouldn't even have a right to feel wronged, or else it's "judging her"!)
It's dishonesty and manipulation that created this problem. It's not your duty be okay with anything this girl tells you after you've gotten hooked in under false pretenses. Don't let anyone convince you differently.
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A
male
reader, andrew loves hali +, writes (10 March 2009):
 the past is the past we cant take back the things weve done. just try not to think about it. instead think about the good times YOU have had with her good luck
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A
female
reader, loving arms +, writes (9 March 2009):
The past is called the past for a reason, it's gone and we cannot change it. You need to look at the wonderful girlfriend you had now and accept that she had a life before you came into it. You will ruin your relationship if you cannot see past this issue.
Your worry about falling out of love is unfounded, you obviously care for her deeply. The ex you stopped feeling for her for a reason, and that allowed you to find this new girl. Worse ways if you do eventually fall out of love that will make space in your heart for someone new. There is no point worying about this as the thought of it hurts badly because you love her. If you ever fall out of love it wil not hurt as badly will it?
Explain to your girlfriend that you have issues with what she has told you and that you know the issues are yours and not hers. You are trying to work through them and you love her very much. Good luck mate I hope you can move beyond this.
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