A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Hello, I discovered nearly two weeks ago that my boyfriend of a year and half had been cheating on me for two weeks.When i confronted him he did not try and deny it and said "im sorry i do not know why i did it".He has told me that he has ended it with her, but they still see each other at work and have to discuss work together.He has told me that its me he loves, then said that if i don't think i will ever trust him again then there is no point in staying together but he hopes we do.How on earth do i feel like trusting him again? is it possible? Is it worth giving someone who has cheated you a second chance?Im in a mess at the moment as i just don't know which way to turn, i still have all the feelings i had before this happened, but, i hate what he did too.I try and talk about the whys and hows with him, but, he gets annoyed when i bring it up and the last time this happened he said " i want you to be happy, and if you decide to leave me then its my loss". I thought we were good together and unless i missed the signs he was happy too.I feel like i love him and hate him, i picture us staying together and wonder would he do it again, then i picture us parted and that makes me so sad, i do not think either way is easy, but i know i have to do something soon as where i am at the moment, is making me very miserable.I hate what he has done and its hurts me to imagine them together, what they did, where they went, but i cant stop these thoughts.I wonder does he really prefer her to me, was she funnier, more interesting, better in bed, better body ? I have told my mother about this in confidence, she said "tell him to go, if he loved you he wouldn't have done it". but its not so easy to just walk away from someone you love. I feel at times that i want to ring him up and be cruel to him and try and hurt him, but i never do, i act as though im dissapointed and hide my true feelings. I feel as though if i get my anger out he will go, and i know i will be hurt more, i cant imagine me not being with him and the thought of him with another woman brings me to tears, i feel tense, im not spending as much happy time with my children, i just wish he never did it.
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male
reader, andrew loves hali  +, writes (10 March 2009):
 if you can go on each day knowing what he did and accept the fact and say the past is the past im sure you can trust him again. but if you cant just end it and thats all there is really but im all honesty i like this site and everything but i ask people what they think but in the end we make the decision.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (10 March 2009): Okay,
If you boyfriend is not groveling and TRYING to show you he is sorry, then sorry, but its over. This man doesnt regret what he did. Its clear. His 'whatever' attitude speaks volumes. If he was sincere he would take his time and try to rebuild your trust. Saying that it would be 'his loss' is a nonchalant way of saying he could care less.
Sorry to be this honest, but its the truth.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (10 March 2009): Hi, I have been exactly where you are. And I made the mistake of "forgiving" him and taking him back. As much as I tried, things were never the same. I felt I wasn't enough to hold his attention anymore and that the cheating was my fault. A month later he told me he didn't love me anymore and wanted to be with her. Not only was my heart broken but my self esteem was crushed. I was sooooo embarassed that I had been dump by my CHEATING boyfriend!! All in all its best to forget how much you lovED him and remember what you DESERVE!!! Good luck.
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A
female
reader, marisol +, writes (9 March 2009):
If you do not trust him any more then break up with him but if you think that you can trust him give him an other chance maybe it was an accident and he does love you tell him if he loves you to prove it.
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A
female
reader, lillymay  +, writes (9 March 2009):
 hi,
there is no rite answer to this question im afraid.he has broke your heart and that feels devastating.u probably do nothing all day but tie yourself into nots wondering what he is doing and then having images in your head of them.
thats the normal reaction,u r angry,upset and u have nots in your belly.
what worked 4 me was to take sum time out of the situation.dont have contact,even no phonecalls.take the time without his influence.
this will make it completely your descion and will give u a clear head.
if u stay with him then u will have to deal with the fact that he cheated as if u dont u will make yourself ill.your brain will work over time as u will not trust him.it doesnt sound like he is being very nice to u either,he has no rite to get angry when u question him,he owes u any answer u want.
if u decide to leave him,it will take time.it will hurt 4 a while and then one day u will feel a bit better and then better everyday,but eventually u will become a stronger woman and u will not be miserable constantly questioning what he is doing.there r men that dont cheat,u deserve that sweatheart.
im very sorry u r going through this,i no how devasting and mentally draining 2.think whats best 4 u mentally and also your kids.u should try and stay as normal as u can with them.it will make u feel better at the end of the day.
plase let me no what u decide and how u r coping.
lillymay. x x
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