A
male
age
41-50,
*igerteeth
writes:Hi my names Sean and i've got a problem. My girl friends 26 and I'm 24. She's slept with around 30/40 guys a similar number to me. I'm not bothered by that, but recently we were talking about past experiences and she told me she's been involved in 2 (i suspect more) threesums (mmf) and quite frankly the thought just turns my stomach it makes me want to be sick. Now im a relxed guy or so i thought but this gets to me! Not only this but she also revealed she used to injects drugs. She said she only injected herself 10 times over the course of a fews years but this still also makes me feel sick. Her best friend still does it and I stated I wouldnt allow her in our flat! (my girlfriend got mad at this) is this wrong of me? she wouldn't be injecting drugs if she stayed over. How do I get over these horrible images? Am I over reacting? I don't want to be mean to her but sometimes I say some pretty nasty things to her.On my last note when we're good together we're great I recently lost my job and she's paying this months rent.So she is a kind soul.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (27 October 2009): hey i know how u feel. I have to same problem exactly just not the 3somes. The way u described how u feel is exactly how i feel too. Me and her are fighting alot but thats it as long as u guys arnt there yet then thats good try not to get ur relationship there its a pain i hope u guys work out
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (26 October 2009): chill out dude!everybody's got a right to a past. you fell for her for what her past experiences made her to be,and what she is today.Its a persons past that makes a persons presnt.I know how that must make make you feel(the three ways) I've got a dark past,but thats behind me now,and Ive moved on and put it behind me,and thats all I gotta say about that
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A
male
reader, Red Green 0289  +, writes (26 October 2009):
Don't judge her past, she's with you now, and you need to let it go. I'd be more worried that she expect a junkie freind to have access to your home. I'd draw the line, unless you want to come home to an empty apratment... she's likely to start stealing your stuff to feed her habit.
Oh, I see that the junkie "promised" she wouldn't shoot up in your apartment... how about right before, or in the parking lot... junkies lie... learn that NOW...
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (26 October 2009): Your gf was being honest with you and let you know about her past- she must trust you a lot to tell you all of that. The keyword here is "past" as in not anymore. You now know all of this and it's overwhelming, but it's up to you to decide if you can get past all of this and continue to go on with this relationship or not. She's with you now and that's all that matters. She has overcome drug addiction and is now trying to make her life better and has moved on. If the fact that she did drugs or had threesomes is still too much to deal with, the two of you may need a break or you have some serious thinking to do and see if you can get over this information. Think about what attracted her to you in the first place and evaluate everything. For now concentrate on the moment- you're probably just stressed. Your gf cares about you and is paying the rent, so try not to be so hard on her.
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (25 October 2009):
Well you're good together, and in fairness, she has paid this months rent. So that at least shows she cares and is committed. However, I do agree that you're right not to have her friend around into your flat. You shouldn't be expected to have drugs in your flat and that's it. I know I wouldn't allow it. As for the threesomes, her drugs and her past. It's just that. Her past. She's with you now. To be honest, it sounds like she was very hurt once and allowed herself to be used. Don't judge her. Maybe ask her about her past and see if there's something that got to her so much she had to rebel. Don't mention the drugs and the threesomes, just get to know her. She wouldn't have just done it because she wanted to. The chances are she's been hurt. So listen to her and understand her. At the end of it, if you can't handle her past, you must leave her to find someone else who can. Good luck.
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