A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:My gf of nearly 1 year, one day woke up an said i dont love you any more, i dont feel anything . i loss feelings for you. its hard letting her go i love her so much its very devastating and shocking to hear those words. were not the prefect couple we argue but we always make it through together makes things better. well its been really harsh for me ive lost my lisence, no job no proper income did this come upon myself? shes says im insecure dont trust her and shit. shes a real hottie guys always check her out why wouldnt i be ?? There was Saturday night she was over my house we were doing our own thing watchin a movie then shes gets a msg form a guy friend and she msg back goes on for a while i said to her '' stop talking to him whats the go were trying to watch a movie '' she said to me cant i have guy friends cant i talk to them or anything and says im jealous . she talks to them like im not there its more important to me know what i mean its anoying my gf msging other guys talking like its msn or something when were in the middle of a movie?? after this we argue ... its Sunday now i bought her credit about a week ago we dont see each other for a few days i told her before she left, my phone is blocked so i cant call you . for 4 days she doesnt call me at all doesn't really talk to me online acting weird n shit . form then on i know there was something fuekd up goin on . when i got credit that thursday i called her she said i have something to tell you and u know what she says i loss feeling for you. i asked her how did this happen . she said "" i woke up and i just didnt feel we connected anymore, i just dont love you anymore. she told me to get over it its not the end of the world blah blah like she even cared for the relationship ive put so much time, effort, money commitment and all that stuff and she tell me this in a happy mood. im just really battered , confused i think that is a really bs reason you jut fall out of love when you wake up. i know i cant do much u cant make someone love you again. well now i know dont treat women good casue there just goin fuk you over say silly shit to piss you off im know im not perfect but i always try to resolve thing...
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female
reader, Denise32  +, writes (3 June 2010):
 This is very rough on you. You put a lot of effort into making your relationship work.
Her sending Im's to other guys while with you was downright rude and inconsiderate. She was very unkind the way she told you it was over. Relationships don't always last forever, but at least you're both (speaking generally here) supposed to end it gently, to consider the other person's feelings.....
All I can offer you is to give careful thought to what she said. Not about "get over it, its not the end of the world," etc., but about the "we don't connect any more." She must have been stewing for quite some time before finally telling you. And what that sounds like is lack of communication between the two of you. (Probably other issues as well, but this is what comes to mind, for starters).
You say you don't treat women well 'cos they're just going to disrespect you and say stuff to annoy you. Well, nobody does that for no reason! Unless of course it's someone who is either immature or else just in general tends to have one hell of a bad attitude toward life, and has most likely grown up with it.....what that comes down to is for you to pick more carefully the women you want to get together with. A "hottie" might be very sweet and nice, fun to be with and thoughtful; all that good stuff. On the other hand, if she's used to having guys ogling her all over the place, she might feel and act spoiled, with a take-it-or-leave-it attitude......
Good communication consists of being able to really just listen when your gf talks to you about something that bugs her, and you let her say her piece. Then you respond and say what's on your mind, WITHOUT throwing blame or insults around (easier said than done, I know, when you're both very upset). However, if you can learn to do this, it will tend to develop trust - and I know you are aware of the importance of being able to trust each other. That's one of the things that enables the two of you to stick together, especially when financial and job losses occur. Of course, as you know, being able to compromise when you don't see eye-to-eye - is also important. How good are you at being willing to agree to disagree when something seems unresolvable?
I hope my response has given you some useful things to think about. Beyond that, I can only say to take some time out before you get involved with anyone else right now; and do what you can to find work and get your life in better shape.......
A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (3 June 2010):
 I'm sorry that has got to suck! But look at it this way, isn't it better that she was honest? That she didn't pretend to be someone she isn't? Now you are free to find a women who have the same ideal & values as yourself.
Take some time being single.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (3 June 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthanks Rescuer for ur advive . she does love me alot she doesnt want to loss me but i think she been thinking about all the bad shit thats happens and by doing this to me will resolve the problem shes a weak person cant handle stress or problems .
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A
female
reader, medha  +, writes (3 June 2010):
 Hi
I sense that she has been outsourcing the love and is now sure of that guy and that is why wants to get away from you.
OF course I could be wrong!
((((((((((hugs)))))))))))
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A
female
reader, xXxLisaxXx  +, writes (3 June 2010):
I don't know if advice off a another woman here will help but here goes ...
You sound very bitter and this is understandable considering your feelings for her. Please do not label women as the same though sometimes relationships don't work out for whatever reason, it doesn't mean you can't find happiness with someone else. You can once the time is right!
To me saying to her ''stop talking to him...'' sounds like you were telling her what to do. Yes she should be allowed guy friends and be able to talk to them when she wants. I understand it annoyed you when you were trying to watch a movie with her - instead you should have said something along the lines of ''I thought we were watching a movie together? Is it ok if you don't use ur phone as often its distracting me as well.'' If you spoke in that tone you used all the time - maybe she felt dominate or trapped. That could have been the mistake and why she felt you were insecure. It's easy to feel like that when your dating someone who has many male friends and attracts a lot of attention, but you have to control it.
I don't belive she did just wake up feeling nothing for you, it will have been coming over time she just didn't realise it. As hard as it is she did the right thing telling you - as cruel as it may have been sometimes is is kinder to be cruel. Be thankful she told you and didn't continue in a relationship she felt was dead and therefore prolonged the agony or worse cheated on you.
You have the chance to move on now - take it and find someone who wants to be with you and adores the affection you shower her with. Why would you want to be with someone who shows no consideration for it? Find a girl who loves it and reciporcates.
We aren't all evil.
Hope this helps and good luck xxx
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