A
male
age
41-50,
*cousemouse
writes:I've been with my girlfriend for 4 years (I'm 28, she's 22) and have had an excellent relationship with her. We have spent the last 6 months in different towns approx 300 miles apart. We spoke several times a day and I visited her several times in the last 6 months. Neither of us have ever raised any issues about unhappiness in our relationship.She got a new job (which she doesn't enjoy) in her home town and WE decided that I would move to her home town to allow her to be near her family. She was in full support of me doing this and only 2 weeks ago was saying how much she was looking forward to it. We recently bought each other xmas gifts that we wanted and I have just received clearance to start my job in her town. Out of the blue, on monday she rings me and says that she wanted a break from our relationship as she didn't know whether she wanted me or just wanted to be friends. She says she feels "weird" but does still love me, there isn't anyone else, and I have not done anything to make her feel unwanted etc. She doesn't want to see me for a while and wants space.This leaves me in the situation where I have to move to a strange town, start a new job and have no social network or friends there (apart from her).I just cannot believe that she is doing this to me now (especially as she has known I was moving to be with her). The only reason I was going was to be with her!I just don't know what to do and feel so depressed. Any ideas??
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male
reader, Danielepew  +, writes (23 December 2007):
 RCN is the man! Great advice!
A
male
reader, Scousemouse +, writes (22 December 2007):
Scousemouse is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks for your advice. This mirror's what our mutual friends are telling me. Everyone is in total disbelief at what she'sdoing and feel that she may have had a breakdown of some sort.I intend to give her space, but also feel that she owes me help at settling in and also owes me the chance to prove that she has made a mistake. We have always discussed our problems and resolved them, so don't know why she isn't opening up to me this time. I'm trying to look on the bright side, but feel destroyed and not really interested in socialising. Thanks again.
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A
male
reader, rcn  +, writes (22 December 2007):
 You can look down on this situation being in a new place, or you can work on developing new, empowering experiences living there. Meet new people, new friends, and still enjoy the change you made under these circumstances.
Give her the space she requested. Not doing so is disrespectful and a sure way to loose her for good. If I were you, personally, I wouldn't wait around for her. She's questioning her feelings. If she doesn't know how she feels, then her feelings aren't strong enough to sit back and just wait. Also, in relationships, good ones two people know how to work together to solve issues without taking breaks. Being with her, would she be someone who every time there's a new issue to deal with, she decides to take another break?
Find someone who's sure about themselves, their feelings, where they are going and what they want.
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