A
male
age
30-35,
*onfusled
writes:I posted a question on here earlier about me and my girlfriend's intimacy issues and we have made a little progress, but the problem still remains. We have been dating for 2 and a half years and are both freshman in college and doing the whole long distance relationship thing. We are doing fine except for our physical problem. Up and to now i have felt her up and we dry hump but thats all we do. We took everything in our relationship really slow and i love her with all my heart so i know i have to fix this problem. So basically we havent been to 3rd base or done anything of that matter and whenever we talk about doing more or if i ask her about it she just says it makes her too uncomfortable. She says she gets wierded out and grossed out when she talks about sex or anything with her friends. Its just hard for me because i take it personally and it just makes me feel really bad and i just want to fix the problem. Any advice?
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male
reader, Ven +, writes (20 October 2010):
The best advice would be to stop treating your girlfriend's feelings like a problem. You can push a girl into sex, but you can't push a woman into intimacy. You need to let her know that she gets to pick the time and place to let go and do that with you.
The more you push the less comfortable she will be.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (20 October 2010): Hey there!
Unfortunately, if she's not into it, she's not into it. She has her own personal choice. I take it she may be of a religious background or was sheltered growing up. She's unfamiliar with sex so she becomes scared. This is normal as Im sure she feels somewhat intimidated by the thought. I suggest being more patient with her and whatever you do if youre together intimately, do not bring up expanding the horizons cause in the heat of the moment, most often people just say yeah and let their hormones drive them. She may regret doing something like this. So, talk to her about this outside the bedroom and see what she would be willing to compromise with you on as you have certain needs you want fulfilled. If she's unwilling and you feel those needs outweigh your relationship with her, then its probably best logically to part ways so you can pursue what it is youre looking for. Good luck.
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