A
male
age
36-40,
*rickgomez
writes:So I have been in a long distance relationship for the past 2 years. I currently live in Florida and she lives in Arizona. To make the long story short this relationship has been through so many ups and downs. She is bipolar and when I first met her she really wasn't that bad, the fact that she is medicated also helps a lot. In this relationship we have been through so many things, such as mistreatment on both parts and her even cheating on me at one point. Because of the fact that we have so much love for each other we have try to work through all of our problems which up until a few months ago it was working. The fact that I am her first love and she is so much younger then me doesn't really help much because we seem to be in totally different mind settings and I think that's were most of our problems come from. I think I see things in a more mature way but then again I have also been with other people and she hasn't really experienced much. Also the fact that she seems to go through phases as she is bipolar drives me insane as I am a person that is stable and needs stability in a relationship, that is a must for me and I think anyone with a healthy mind.I saw her two months ago and everything was great we had a great time with each other and really spent a lot of quality time as we don't get to see each other much. We agreed on me moving to Arizona, at the end of August, which will really be a sacrifice for me as all my family and friends are here in Florida but I didn't want to take her away from her family. Ever since then things have just gone downhill I she just completely changed and she keeps telling how unhappy she is with this long distance relationship which I can understand but I kept telling her I'm only two months away from moving to Arizona, after two years she also says that she doesn't feel were compatible in many ways and that there are things in my personality that are never going to change and she just dislikes. For example, religion is a big issue because she doesn't believe in god and I do, she also says all the ups and downs have changed the way she feels about me which I can understand because I also feel the same way. With the way she is treating me lately I also feel the same way, she short talks me all the time, we went from talking all the time to not talking at all and barely even texting. I changed jobs just so that we would be in the same schedule because she used to tell me how bad she hated my last job and the crazy hours I had to work, that was the worst decision because now I'm miserable in this new job and that really just made things worst in our relationship, it just didn't help at all. Last weekend she broke up with me telling me how she couldn't stand this anymore and I don't mean to sound like a wuss but I cried my ass out all weekend and it hurt me so much, she tells me that she did the same. I got to admit ever since then I just feel like I lost something in this relationship that I won't be able to ever get back but I ended begging her on Monday to get back with me and she did I guess out of pity. She just broke up with me again for the same reasons telling me how I would never understand her and will never understand this decision but this was the best for us as she just doesn't feel the same way. She has made me so miserable the last few months and she just changed my feelings for her completely and I do not know what to do?? I feel so lost right now. Even though this time it didn't hurt as much as it did last weekend I am still disappointed and this whole thing just pains my heart. I feel like I done everything in my hands to try and make things better and I guess it just isn't enough for her. We have broken up before in the beginning of the relationship but that only lasted about one month. According to her I'm her first love and this is really hard for her but I just don't know anymore. Am I doing something wrong here?? Do you guys think is just a phase? She does suffer from depression. I'm just sad cause we made so many plans together and now its like that didn't matter anymore. I am also the kind of person that takes a lot of things up to a certain point and when that's reach I move on. I just didn't want to move on because I really really love her and wanted to make this work after all the effort I have put into this relationship. Please give me some input guys?? I feel like this might be it and I have to move on but my heart tells me not to...
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reader, erickgomez +, writes (14 June 2012):
erickgomez is verified as being by the original poster of the questionIt has almost been a month and even though this was the hardest break up I been through yet I feel like I am beginning to move on...Last time I talked to her was three weeks ago and things ended up really bad..we had the biggest fight and she told me so many hurtful things as I did to her as well... Even though I have not fully move on yet and I still think about all the good things that we shared and it makes me sad, I have always believe there is a reason for everything that you go through in life and I think right now this was for the best.. I think we cause each other too much pain and its just better to let it go for good..
Sometimes I just look back and just wish there was a way to go back and just changed everything but there isn't and I have accepted that were just not meant for each other...My friends keep telling me that there's more fish in the sea but its not even about that I lost my best friend forever and that's my biggest regret. This is not the first time I have gone through a bad break up but this one has definitely hurt me the most..I really hope time completely heals me but I do feel like this experience will make me stronger and a better person.
There is so many things I can take from this and that's a positive..so many things I'm going to change because of what I learned here. I just wish it wasn't at the expense of her and my pain..because I know that even if she doesn't tell me or wants to admit it were both hurting..I'm praying every day that it gets better and that I become stronger and a better person in this situation.. Thanks to all of you that took the time to read this and reply.. Thank you
A
female
reader, Duckyhelp  +, writes (19 May 2012):
 Have a serious talk about it with her about what she really truely wants and that her depression and problems are not an issue cause you want to help her cause you love her. You'll know it will be difficult but since you are moving closer to her you can take her places and make her happier than at the moment.
Dont give up yet, give it once last chance, it could be the thing which changes you both. She is just probably a bit messed up at the moment and would feel bad about including you all the time. As obviously you both love each other and i see no reason why its not possible for you guys to work.
Good luck, if you want more help personally just mail me :)
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