| A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes: We've been together for 6 months now, but my girlfriend still isn't ready for sex. I've been patient, and respected her opinion, but my patience is running thin. The problem is that she wants me to pleasure her, I do it, but she never reciprocates so I end up with blue balls each and every time and it kinda feels unfair. I've brought it up and she tells me she wants to pleasure me, but doesn't actually do anything. Other than this, I really love her.
View related questions:
ready for sex Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (15 June 2010): well i think if u love her and ur being "patient"why is it running thin?if u really love her then ull wait for her untill she feells ready and decides to have sex with u. not bu=y u pressuring her.
A
female
reader, Tisha-1  +, writes (10 June 2010):
 "Sweetheart, I find you very beautiful, sexy and attractive, but I can't continue this. It makes me very physically uncomfortable. It also makes me feel that you are more of a taker than a giver, as your actions don't match your words. I find you are willing to be sexually pleasured but don't return the favor. I'm not talking about intercourse here, I'm talking about reciprocating the same level of sexual play on me that I give to you. So for now, let's just stop any teasing until you are ready for full reciprocation. I care about you and want this to be a balanced relationship."
---------
You could try saying something like this, but she does sound as though this is going to be problematic. Either she's scared or she's selfish. You'll have to find a way to figure out which one it is. Just be gentle and loving and listen well. Don't put yourself in a position to be teased again if it is so uncomfortable for you.
Good luck.
...............................
A
male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (10 June 2010):
Sounds to me like she just wants her own way. If she won't pleasure you, then don't pleasure her. It's a two way thing. If she's not ready, fair enough. But she can't expect you to perform for her.
...............................
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (10 June 2010): She tried giving me a handjob once, but didn't go all the way, so I ended up with the worst case of blue balls I've ever had. And yes she does seduce me, then just lies back mostly, but she always talks about how she wants me to feel good too. She does let me rub against her, but that doesn't really feel pleasurable, for me at least. I want her to do things to me actively, I even bluntly took her hand and put it on my crotch, but she just pulled away. I don't really understand her.
...............................
A
female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (10 June 2010):
Wait. She wants to wait for sex, but is initiating sexual activity with you? Asking you to do stuff but she then just lies back and does nothing?
...............................
A
female
reader, YouWish +, writes (10 June 2010):
 Aww man. Well, that's not fair, unless you're telling her that the only way she CAN pleasure you is through out-and-out sex. Have you given her different options, or are you trying to get her to give in, so to speak?
Either way, it's good that you've respected her, and you're a good guy for making sure she feels good. She should be enthusiastic about pleasing you, even if it's not involving sex. And if she had a personal morality code that prohibits her from giving ALL pleasure, then she shouldn't be asking for it.
She sounds a bit selfish, if you ask me. Tell her that you won't be pleasuring her unless it's mutual. Tell her you love her, but you're not feeling that it's mutual.
Good luck! I hope she opens up to you!
...............................
|
