A
male
age
30-35,
*th05
writes:My girlfriend is obsessed with an ex of mine. Shes friends with her and they get along fine when they see each other but shes always comparing herself to her. Last night they ran into each other while out with friends and from 10pm to 3am, i've had to reassure her about everything from her looks to personality. In the end, she ended up angry at me because she asked something that made her think of the two of having sex. I've done my best to cheer her up and keep her happy but she wants none of it.We've been together for 10 months and this is happening at least once a month and i'm not sure where to go from here. She's a very head-on, stubbern girl who tends to take things the wrong way more often than not and i'm losing the will to keep doing this. What should i do?
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female
reader, person12345  +, writes (4 February 2011):
 In continuing to reassure her, you are enabling her bad behavior. In a way basically by trying to be nice, you're inviting more of this. You need to sit her down and tell her that you are with her, not your ex, and that is for a reason. And then you need to tell her that you will not perpetuate this any longer. You can reassure her once, but don't keep going for many minutes or hours. Refuse to talk about it further.
A
female
reader, Blonde68  +, writes (4 February 2011):
It sounds like she is lacking in confidence and doesn't like herself very much.
With all the will in the world, you can tell someone a 1000 times a day you think they are beautiful, but they just will not accept it if they don't love themselves and lack confidence.
I noticed that you mention it is once a month... it could be partly to do with her hormones when she is due a period. But.... there is only so much a man can tolerate and since you have been together for 10 months now, you think she would realise that you want to be with her and not the ex.
I suggest you try and talk to her about it but if things do not improve, then I guess you need to end this relationship as it isn't making you happy and will eventually just drag you down.
Good luck!
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