A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:My girlfriend and i have only been offiecially together for two months but had a thing for about 4 - 5 months now. she asked me how many people i'd slept with, i told her honestly then asked her the same question, the first answer i got back was just "a couple" so i took the hint that she didnt wanna talk about it and just left it for a couple of weeks, as i got more attached i wondered more and more about it so i eventually asked her again, she said 5 not including you, which sort of bothered me sort of didnt as its a pretty usual number for girls round where i live, i left it at that then a couple of weekss later i hear from my good mate and she tells me about some other guy named josh that my girlfriend was in a relationship with and supposedly cheated on so i asked her about him because he wasnt mentioned as one of the five guys she told me about and she got really hurt that i'd beleieve another girl over her but eventually admitted to having slept with him but denied that she cheated on him, this makes it 6 guys before me, im now hurt that she lied to me. now here's where it hurts me real bad, a couple weeks earlier i mentioned something about this guy named dale whom i didnt think she knew and she suddenly seemed quite interested about him and i didnt think about it at the time but about a week after i found out about the 6th guy my mate messages me asking hows life and we get to talking about my missus and i get told "aw your missus went out with my mate josh and cheated on him with this guy dale", it all suddenly clicked as to why she seemed interested when i mentioned him the first time, but what im confused on is whether she actually got with him becaus dale told everyone he did sleep with her and she denies it, i dunno what to believe because they were seen coming out of bushes together at a party and she was pulling her dress down, thats the only proof anyone has other than dale's word against hers. i really need help as to what i should do? this is hurting me real bad. Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (12 August 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthanks everyone, this helps alot! still sort of unsure where to go with this, ill try make it work but if things dont start going back to normal in a month or so then i guess i just have to do whats best for both of us in the long run and end it. i think she is a little self defensive at the moment because she has closed her feelings off to me since i "hurt her" she's also been really moody since then and slightly distant like she doesnt want to be with me, she tells me she does but i can't really tell, i guess only time'll tell. once again thanks everyone :)
A
female
reader, lerato29  +, writes (11 August 2011):
 give her a chance every has their past it shouldnt bother you this much i guess it doesnt really matter how many guys she slept with coz she is with you now but is it bothers you this much i guess you have to talk to her and tell her how you really feel about the situation.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (11 August 2011): You have good reasons not to trust this girl to be honest or faithful.
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A
female
reader, sammy1986  +, writes (11 August 2011):
she probably didnt want to tell you in case it put you off her why do you really need to know anyway as long as you trust her and know she wont cheat on you then just forget about it she is with you now the past is the past you to may have a future together dont mess that up by thinking about the past all the time
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A
male
reader, Yos  +, writes (11 August 2011):
 Her first mistake was asking you your number. Her second mistake was lying to you about hers.
But now ask yourself: do you want to be in a relationship with this girl?
If you do, then drop all this now. It won't lead anywhere positive. Just put it out of your mind and tell your mates to shut up if they bring it up. It doesn't matter, it shouldn't matter.
But if you can't do this, then break up with her. Don't drag this out and make her feel crap in the process.
So: choose to trust and move on, or end it. Don't get stuck in some messy middle ground that will erode each of you.
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A
female
reader, laceycraig +, writes (11 August 2011):
my first thoughts would of been she probable as not been with that many and is saying she as because she doesnt want you to think that she is inexperienced (which believe it or not girls do say they have been with more to make out they are more experienced than they are)
but reading it all i think she is ashamed off how many she as been with and doesnt want you thinking she is a 'slag'.
she might feel that she as found the right one 'you' and doesnt want to risk losing you because off her past (which everyone as one).
yes she might of lied to you about this and you feel hurt because of this but most of girls that do/have slept around have done so for a reason,
sit down with her and ask her some might of happened to her when she was younger thats made her feel the need to sleep with so many guys, she might feel insecure about herself and sleeping with x amount of guys made her feel secure inside, there is many of reasons why dont judge her by what others say about her
when you talk to her make she feels she can really open up to you that she can trust you with anything she as to tell you even if things dont work out she know that you wouldnt go round telling people what she as told you.
good luck hope things do work out just remember every girl needs a friend they can trust and if she trusts you enough to tell you this will bring you too closer than before and you can forget about what everyone else says about her because its only what you two think about each other that matters.
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