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female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes: My boyfriend and I have been together for a couple of months now and lately things have went from great to horrible. When we first started dating, things were amazing! We would talk all day every day about everything, we would spend lots of time together (not too much) and both thoroughly enjoy it and we were pretty much happy with each other and our relationship. Our emotional connection was truly special, we have a lot of the same goals and desires out of life and ultimately want the same things. Lately however things have drastically changed for the worse. My boyfriend wanted me to express with him when something is wrong or bothering me and because I've gotten pretty comfortable with him and our relationship and want to open up as he wants me to, i tell him. However it seems as if when I tell him when things are wrong, he shuts down and withdraws from me instead of trying to work on the issue. I guess he feels as though he doesn't know what to say/doesn't want to say the wrong things but because of this things are suffering. Our conversations have been really boring lately. We talk whenever and most of the time it seems pretty forced. It's like we have nothing to say anymore. He doesn't sound excited to tell me stories and what has happened in his day although I ask and try to share stories with him too. His responses are just so "blah" now and emotionally it seems as if he's checked out of our relationship. Sex seems to be the only conversation he gets excited to talk about. Our relationship went from strictly emotional to strictly physical and I just want some type of balance (and yes I have told him this). Outside of the conversation dragging, we don't see or spend as much time together as we used to. He always has an excuse about being tired or wanting to be in the house (excuses he never had before) and it sucks. I'm not really quite sure what to do regarding our relationship anymore! I try to make conversation and dates but he just doesn't seem excited about these things like he used to be. I've asked him if he is happy with us and his response is "yea, mostly." He says he doesn't feel the same way he used to but isn't unhappy enough to leave our relationship, but his actions don't suggest he necessarily wants to stay either. It's frustrating as hell because I care about him and want to make things work and he's telling me the same, yet nothing is changing. What do I do? Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, tennisstar88  +, writes (16 September 2010):
 It went from good to bad in just a couple of months? The honeymoon phase is over that quickly, ouch. He doesn't feel the same way but isn't unhappy enough to leave the relationship. The emotions are no longer there but all that's left is the physical aspect. That tells me he's just staying in it for the sex, nothing else. Translation your relationship just turned into being all about sex. I guarantee if you withhold the sex he'll break-up with you. So you can either accept the fact that sex is the glue holding your relationship together since there's no talking to him about it anymore he just shuts you out and won't change anything. Or it's still early, you've only been together a couple of months you can walk away and find a relationship that is more fulfilling than this one. Choice is yours.
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