A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:My girlfriend has been acting different lately.We used to have sex three to four times a week, now we barely do it once, she even stopped taking the pill... but what I dislike most is that I don't feel she enjoys it as much anymore (we were both virgins when we started, we've been doing it for 6 months now). She does scream, pant, spasm, sometimes orgasm even before I do and seems to enjoy it while we're at it, but I don't feel her as enthusiastic or satisfied when we "finish" as before. We barely cuddle afterwards, when we used to cuddle for ever after sex, complimenting each other and saying "I love you" and such, now when we're done she just gets right on to doing stuff, even when I say I want to cuddle. She used to have a higher sex drive (even higher than mine), and would want to engage sex every day, I would start too, don't get me wrong, but now It is I that have to do all the work only to hear things like "my parent's might be home soon", "I'm too tired", "We're running late", "I have too much work to do".She also stopped texting me as much, even when I text her first. She also has stopped leaving love messages or emails, or even saying "I love you" over the phone (but still gets upset when I don't do either of those things). She also used to write and say the most beautiful things to me, no I barely hear an "I love you" every now and then, but it feels like a routine and not like a legitimate one.Another thing, she has stopped being as enthusiastic and affectionate, especially with PDAs. If I try to hold her hand she finds something to do to let go, but grabs it only when she want to, or doesn't hug me anymore. She used to run to open the door when I arrived, now I have to wait for her parents or sister to get the door. This one time, I met her at her office for lunch, she came down with her coworkers and saw me told me "come on" and kept walking, not even stopping to say at least hello, or acknowledged my presence with a hug, kiss, etc. We used to make out all the time as well, now it's up to me to get her going, and when I do she is not romantic anymore, rather starts talking about some stupid, or mocks-kisses me, or jokingly tells me that I am taking advantage of her.I get to think I am too nice to her, and she is taking me for granted. Because of my work schedule, I usually run certain errands for her, help her with her own work, get her flowers almost every week... I understand that I am in a relationship to give and not receive, but something does not feel right. I have tried talking to her on this, but she gets annoyed saying that I get upset over small insignificant things, or that I am overreacting. Before anyone suggest "dump"... what else is there for me to do? Or AM I OVERREACTING?Thanks!
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male
reader, Advice_man +, writes (3 April 2011):
 No definitely you are not over reacting. Apparently your girl has lost interest in you, either because of your fault, or her insensitivity or she might have found something else! Do an evaluation of the situation. If you believe it's you to be blamed for this try to fix things out, talk it over with her and try to get a few hints. If you think you did nothing wrong then again talk this over with her and confront her. If she simply lost the feeling then you have no choice but to accept it, be a man and leave with your head up! No begging, please! Best wishes. Let us know.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (3 April 2011): from: Orignal Posterto: Mizz.butterflies I don't follow the whole "relationship game" bit. Relationships should either work, or don't. You should not have to play cards, or pretend to be unavailable, or fake uninterest to have her attention. I do workout 6 times a week, attend and do well at my own job, go out with my friends and defend her when someone is disrespectful to her. All relationships have their conflicts, but pretending a drama just to make things interesting, should not be a necessity in a true relationship.to marie.possa5Thank you for your input and time. I have a hunch it's stress from work and she is taking it out on me. I guess I'm supposed to be able to understand and take it. Thank you for you input. I read your question and am truly sorry about your situation. I sincerely hope he comes to his senses and does what is right, or at least what is best for you. Nobody should have to tolerate being cheated on, especially when he is basically asking you for permission and time to do it. What a pig :(.to: Capri2I'll take your suggestion and give it a few weeks time to see if things pick up. I did meditate what you said about being bad to be broken hearted by a breakup, but even worst continuing like this. Thank you!
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A
female
reader, mizz.butterflies +, writes (3 April 2011):
 Hmmm,looks like you fell in the trap of "Mr Granted"your girlfriend has stopped appreciating what you do for her./she's a little annoyed you are so nice to her.i would like to say she suffers from the bad guy sydnrome ( girls like bad boys more than nice ones)but the fact that she was affectionate towards you before tells me she does like you, but probably got too tired of your nice ways. She still needs to know you're a male, as ridiculous as it sounds,sometimes you just need a bit of drama for the relationship to work.Or...She could be cheating and not having the guts to tell you,because you are THIS nice.Play it cool. You tried talking to her but she accuses you of exaggerating.Get a new hobby. Show her you're involved with something else. Be unavailable. MAKE HER MISS YOU.If she does miss you you're on a good way.If she seems to enjoy your dissappearance then you know its time to tell her bye bye bye.
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A
male
reader, Capri2  +, writes (3 April 2011):
Well. If you were talking about a five years old relationship I would say it just normal. As, with the time, every couple tends to be more used to being together. And certainly all romantic stuff tends to disappear.
But this happening only six month after starting. Well, it's a little too soon.
Honestly, I don't think it's normal. I won't tell you to dump her because you don't even know what's going on. But you have to find out soon. You can't go on like this. You have to talk to her and get to know what she feels and what she thinks about this. There is a chance she lost the spark and there is nothing left for you there. If that's what happened you will suffer. But it would be much worst staying with someone how is not into you.
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A
female
reader, marie.possa5  +, writes (3 April 2011):
Well... let me tell you, I wish guys were as concerned as you are! I don't know but I think you are great! Like someone told me, you may be his guy but maybe not the one for her. I mean, I wish I could cuddle afterwards!! That is so beautiful! My guy doesn't even tell me that he loves me anymore! And we've been together for 6 years! You are definitely not overreacting but becareful on how you let her know how you feel. Maybe she's afraid to tell you something or she's stressed out, I don't know, but give her sometime and see what happens! You seem like a beautiful person, so give her time or be subtle when you talk to her! Some of us wish for guys like you, honey! Let me know if you need anything else!
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