A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:My girlfriend was hospitalized due to a mental illness. Seeing as we had a very important class together, I informed the professor she would be gone for a while due to being in the hospital. I did not tell anyone why, just that she was. I made sure to respect her privacy. When people attempted to pry (the teacher told the entire class she was in the hospital, he liked to make a point that no one has a right to be absence unless physically/mortally wounded), I would tell them it's no ones business but hers. I visited her every day (hour drive there and back) and eventually she was released a week and a half later. The following week we spent time together and felt in love like we always did. Then, one night, she randomly messages me over skype and was acting weird. She kept saying... "Are you sure no one knows?" and I reaffirmed her no one knew, not my parents, brother, or anyone at school. She then informed me that someone(s) told her that I told them why she was there, betraying her trust. I have NEVER broken her trust so this proved disastrous. She eventually told me she didn't think this was worth continuing because she can't even trust me. I promised her I didn't, but she had her mind set I was the one at fault. I told her I respect her decision, and all I can do is wait for her to understand the truth because I can't convince her otherwise. It's been 3 days since then with no attempted contact. I figure I'll give her a week then call her if she hasn't called me yet. How can I prove to her I'm trustworthy, that I didn't do this? It's their word against mine...
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (21 November 2010): Thanks bunnyace, I know for a fact it's not #2. She just got the guts to tell me she loved me the night before indirectly so I'm confident it's not that.
I thought #1 might be possible too. Maybe someone misunderstood or something... For instance she talked to them and they said, "Oh I'm so sorry you were in the hospital, your boyfriend told me all about it!" and she could have misinterpreted that.
Right now it seems like you ladies, and let me reiterate I thank you immensely for your perspective, agree that the only thing I can do is wait and see what she does. So for now I'll just keep living my life happily knowing if she comes back, I'll be happy with her. If not then I should move on because the trust/will to fight obviously isn't there. How long do you think I should wait before deciding to "give up"/ "move on?"
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (20 November 2010): She was extremely hostile, and as such wouldn't really discuss anything with me. Any attempt at logic was turned against me. For instance I said "Well right now it's their word versus mine" to which she replied, "glad you know your word isn't worth much". This was such strange behavior for a shy and sweet girl so I know she is deeply hurt.
All I know is she was talking to someone(s) who she said she would not tell me who, and they told her that I told them why she was really in the hospital, betraying her trust.
Thank you for your time, I really appreciate it. It's difficult for me to take knowing that she made a rash decision over a lie.
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A
female
reader, BunnyAce +, writes (20 November 2010):
 Sounds like u r doing(and did) all the right things. Friends have a huge impact on how someone feels about their significant other...unfortunatly. it takes a strong individual to actually think for thereself.
Could be two things that are infuencing her to not be with her.
1. Her friends are jealous either about the bond that you two have that her friends may not have found yet. Or they r jealous that u knew why she was in the hospital while they did not. They could have manipulated her to think u told them just to get answers outa her
2. She could have been uneasy about your relationship and was just waiting for a reason to break things off. A lot of people wait for the other person to 'mess up' so that it doesn't seem like they were the bad guy in the break up process.
If it is option one, you have hope and you guys can just talk things through. If it is option two, well then, she doesn't deserve you anyway and you should find someone that will treat you to the extent that you would treat them.
I hope things work out. You seem like one of the good ones.
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A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (20 November 2010):
 Do you know who this other person is that claims you told them? Did you ask your girlfriend exactly what they claimed you said?
In either case, lie or no lie, she doesn't trust you, but trusts this other person over you. Even when you didn't lie, she chose to not believe you. That right there says it all: she doesn't trust you. That is something that is an error of hers, not yours. And as a result there is nothing you can do but hope she will understand she can trust you. That is up to her however.
I suggest you do as planned, wait for a while, and then try to talk to her again.
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