A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hey everyone,I'm in a relationship with this girl that I like and I am facing quite a few problems. We are both students in graduate school.Firstly in a social setting, she tends to ignore me and just chat with others. She doesnt look at me when I talk to her when others are around and only looks at other people when she talks. She refuses to acknowledge me as her boyfriend and introduces me to her friends as her friend. She does not want her facebook status to be 'in a relationship' claiming it will hurt her career.While walking around outside, she doesnt like to hold hands in public, and never did. When she walks, she walks slightly ahead of and not by my side, and very often when i take a left turn while walking infront of her, she will take a right turn and totally ignores that I'm there.She also seems to not like some of my gifts, and states it blatantly. I created a birthday gift for her consisting of a necklace and a cute stuffed toy and she liked the toy but inspects the necklace for 5 minutes real close and complained that there is a defect on the necklace. I could only see a tiny dot coming out of the bottom of the necklace. I also gave her flowers and a bag once, she liked the rose but is furious that I gave her an inferior bag which she says is not worth the $20 spent to buy it, and that I should have not gave it to her at all. She wants me to return it to the store or give it to my baby cousin.What annoys me the most is whenever I make plans to go out, like a roadtrip, and have decided on the place to go, room to get, how to get there, she almost always have something crop up, or some excuses to delay or cancel the trip. This includes larger plans like trips down to last minute cancellation of meals even though she already knew in advance we cant eat together, she only tells me when I finally ask her for dinner in person. All the time and effort spent on planning is all wasted and gets me frustrated. It is also very hard to get her to go out, be it movies, shopping, hanging around outside doing something together. She refuses to hang out in my room and prefers I hang out in hers. The only interaction time is when we eat together, and we don't speak much when eating.She says I am too sticky and seems to be excluding me from her activities. However she keeps saying that she still like me (not love) and that I have became nicer but still not nice enough. When I text her 'good night darling!' she just replies without the pet names. She used to.What is wrong here? What should I do?
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reader, anonymous, writes (25 January 2011): You deserve better. Me and my ex broke up because I wanted him to do the little things your doing and he didn't. Trust me there are plenty of other girls out there that would love all the things that your trying to do. If it's at the beginning of you relationship and she doesn't want to put it on fb it's understandable.Sometimes people try and keep others out their relationship so that it will have time to grow. But for her to ignore you in public means that it's time to get rid of her. There's no point in being a behind there doors boyfriend.Unless you both have come to an agreement not to tell people.
Good Luck
A
female
reader, Molly0102  +, writes (25 January 2011):
It sounds like she doesn't like you anymore even though she told you she still does. I've never heard of a couple behaving like that before. I was in a predicament like yours before. This guy told me he loved me but he refused to acknowledge the fact that he knows me. Later on I found out he was two-timing hence the refusal to acknowledge me. I'm not saying your girlfriend is cheating on you but there is a possibility. Talk to her about it but if she doesn't want to then I guess it's best to leave her. She sounds self-centered.
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