A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:My girlfriend of 2 years cheated on me the other night. She was out with her best mate of 10 years (a bloke) and they went to a club, got drunk and snogged.Prior to this they have sexually flirted via text, nothing that explicit just that they found each other sexy and wished they didnt have partners etc.After they kissed and went home to their respective parents homes they texted about how good the kiss was and that they wished they were together and alone.She is 27.She hasn't said anything about it but I told her my mate had seen them out, she got very defensive and asked if I was spying on her! I told her no, just a passing commect that a mate had seen her out (which he did, which is how I know what happened!)What do I do? Give her the elbow or sort it out? I don't think I can trust her again!
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (19 October 2009): I would walk away from her.The fact she kissed and had been flirting with another person is totally inappropriate to be doing while in a relationship with someone.The only person she should be sending flirty texts and kissing is you.If she actually cared about you and had any type of respect for you she would not be out getting drunk with other men and she should be honest with you atleast about what happen.The fact she got defensive when you asked her about it and then asked you if you had been spying on her is probably her trying to find a way to turn this around and blame things on you so she does not feel bad.I know because that happen to me once, I confronted my husband about cheating ,he didn't even say a word about it but went straight on to saying I was spying on him and then broke up with me for invading his privacy then went and told all our friends that the break up was my fault for spying on him. even though he had been sleeping with someone else. and I had not been spying on him,like you I had a friend inform me of what they had seen, my husband accused me of this spying so he did not feel guilty over what he did.I think its fine for male's and female's who are in relationship to have friends of the opposite sex but sending messages to this 'friend' that consisted of wishing they did not have partners is not just a friendship and not appropriate.
A
female
reader, Lexie88  +, writes (19 October 2009):
 If I was you I would leave her. What she did was show that she has no respect for you and you don't need someone like that. If she's done it once she will do it again, no doubt. You are worth more than that and you deserve better.After 2 years you should expect trust and respect from the person you're with. What she's done doesn't show either of these two things and you need to let her go. She doesn't hold you in high regard and you don't need to waste your time on someone like that.
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A
male
reader, LazyGuy  +, writes (18 October 2009):
 I think she might not be mature enough to know what she wants.
If she wanted him, then why did she went with you, two years ago?
It can be somewhat fun to fool around, spice things up even if you never wish for things to actually happen (as in really start a normal relationship with this guy) but is this fair to you?
Confront her tell her what you know and what her plans are. Personally, I would give her the elbow. Sorry mate, but whatever her reasons for the flirting, the fact is that she has done so, of her own free will.
Best of luck but I don't see a happy ending.
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (18 October 2009):
Well, you could do as Gina says and confront her. But let's face it, she's cheated with this other guy who she has known for ten years. She probably has always wanted him. I think you should tell her what you saw and just end it now. You cant trust her not to go to him, and I wouldn't trust her either. There will be someone out there who will commit to you and not hurt you. This one has, so leave her.
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