A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:My girlfriend says she's at home, but she's busy, and can't talk to me, yet she does not want to tell me why. She says she'll call me back when she's done, but she will not give me a time.I called her back saying it really bothers her that she would do this and it make me feel that she is hiding something from me and I do not like the feeling, please just tell me what you're doing and she would not tell me, she just said stop yourself from feeling this way.We've had a bunch of relationship trouble in the past, I have outbursts of anger, and she sometimes nag a lot and blames and insults me. But we were apparently at peace and were supposed to do something, like go to the movies maybe.What should I do? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, So_Very_Confused  +, writes (17 July 2013):
 or option 4 is that she met him, knew it was not good with you and left a bad relationship to pursue one that may be better...
you yourself said there were problems in the relationship...
A
reader, anonymous, writes (17 July 2013): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionAbout 2 years later, I can say what happened.... she actually left me at the end of that year, and started dating that guy in question, who had no qualms about declaring his feelings to her while we were together.
My "verdict" oscillates between her:
1 - Being self-centered and selfish
2 - Being a control freak to the point that she cannot deal with relationship obligations
3 - Being a dishonest person
Although she showed signs of dishonesty and selfishness, my impression is that the answer is (at least mostly) #2.
Not that it changes much at this moment.
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A
male
reader, rcn +, writes (25 April 2011):
 Your welcome, and you're right it does go both ways. I've been right there in your shoes as well. It's not a good place to be. Why have dinner with this other guy, when she's calling you her boyfriend. Knowing that this guy is into her, and her being secret as to what she was doing seems inappropriate. Respect does go both ways, but what do you do when giving that respect is allowing her to violate what you two have together. That's when difficult decisions have to be made.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (25 April 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionIt goes both ways. I'll have to respect her too, and she has to act less like a little princess.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (25 April 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionActually i'm not sure... We both have flaws, but anyway thanks fir the answers!
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reader, anonymous, writes (25 April 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionShe was having dinner with another guy who is into her (but she keeps telling me and him that they're just friends). She did similar things before already. I have no problem with what she does I just expect her to be upfront and direct. Now she has turned off her phone because she wants to sleep and I'm keeping her from doing so because I'm angry and need to talk to her. I always tried to treat her like equal but it seems she's acting like a little princess. I'm still up, it's 5 am, can't sleep. Have had it with her. She probably has the wrong person in me, I am not anymore a guy who puts his girl above everything, so I'm sorry for her and for me for all that hope squandered.I wanted to say earlier on, thank you tor your advice. I did stay calm and I'm thankful for what was said, but as you see I could not take all of it.
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A
female
reader, GG96 +, writes (25 April 2011):
I know theres probably alot more to the story, but maybe she just doesn't have the time to tell you. Maybe she was in a rush and didn't feel like explaining. Just calm down and get the answer from her.
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A
male
reader, rcn +, writes (24 April 2011):
She may or may not be hiding something. I can't say, because there are some people who see it as, "I'm not violating the relationship, so you can trust that without knowing what I'm dong." There are also those who, "I am violating the relationship, but if you don't know what I'm doing, then accept that I'm not." I'd tell her that relationships are built on trust, honest, and being open without hidden things. I will say it's wrong to check up on someone because she's not your property, but at the same time, it's you who has these feelings, and she's not easing them. It doesn't matter how she says you should feel, what matters is how you actually do. And if there isn't anything being hidden, telling you to ease your worry shouldn't be an issue.
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