A
female
age
30-35,
*rincess166
writes:iam seeing a guy now for the past few months,he had been chasing me since nearly the beginning of the year. im busy with college, chemotherapy and he is in a band thats tours and travels. we try to see each other at least 1-2 times a week when we can and text/call in between. there is no sex involved and he has never iniated/pressured. but we do cuddle and kiss.i was curious as to what we were so i asked and he said i guess we're seeing each other? which was fine for me because i wouldnt be able to see him as much as id like with my situation. he then told me last year he and his previous gf ended their relationship of 6 years. i asked what happened and he said that it just wasnt working anymore, were both sick of each other and decided to end the relationship mutually. he then said he told himself after that relationship he never wanted to have a gilfriend again. i know for a fact they both keep in touch occasionally and this leaves me wondering what he really wants from me.my question is seeing each other leaving it open for him to see other girls?is he using me to just have someone around with no commitments?
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female
reader, shania  +, writes (5 January 2010):
 If he is seeing you 1- 2 times a week and he's taking you out then whats his problem? Why does he have to see you every day and have sleepovers to become your official boyfriend? This guy is giving you mixed signals...Personally i think he's not that 100% into you? Meaning, he doesn't know what he wants...i know for a fact that no matter how hurt a guy has been with his previous girlfriends...if he is really keen on another woman then he would throw caution to the wind and go for it! Not all this jargon about being too hurt before and vowing never to date again...come on!
You will have to explain to him that you two are either an item or not...no inbetween...straight down the line.If he gives you the old excuses again then tell him that you are not prepared to playing second fiddle, while he sorts his head out.The guy is a dithering...do you really need that? Other just accept being friends but lay off the kissing and cuddling....he cant have it both ways when it suits him.
A
female
reader, princess166 +, writes (5 January 2010):
princess166 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHe takes me out places all the time, movies/dinners/concerts/etc. And has never brought up having an ex gf, only until last night.
He once told my friend that we would be bf gf only if we saw each other nearly everyday and had sleepovers.. He always hints to me that he wishes he could see me more often so I guess he would want to be bf gf if we saw each other more. And is using the I promised myself to never have a gf excuse because we don't see each other enough?
Thanks!
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A
female
reader, shania +, writes (5 January 2010):
Does this guy actually take you out? i mean takes you to the movies..a walk in the park..having a drink at a bar...eating out etc...thats proper dating...if he's just turning up at your house and just having a kiss and cuddle then i would feel pretty pissed off.Ok....you say your having chemo..maybe he wants you to be well again once you finish treatment then take it to the next step.I never believe any man who says that he wont have another girlfriend again...thats rubbish.If a guy is really keen enough then he would want you as his girlfriend...end of.
Next time you see him...sit him down, lay all your cards on the table and ask him if you two are a proper couple...its ok to be friends with your ex..like he is..but if he keeps going on about her everytime you two hook up then i would give him his marching orders...you really dont need to hear all that nonsense when you have alot to deal with yourself.
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