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GF cheated - kick her to the curb, am I over-reacting?

Tagged as: Breaking up, Cheating<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (17 February 2010) 7 Answers - (Newest, 18 February 2010)
A male United States age 41-50, anonymous writes:

I am so hurt right now.

My GF cheated on me and the guy she cheated with has pictures of the event. Even more embarrassing and adding insult to injury is the fact that she let him take her anally, which she has never allowed me to do even though I have asked several times but respected her choice.

She is the mama to my son and we have been together for so long. I provide everything for her, a house, health ins., food, etc. EVERYTHING!!!!!! Not to toot my own horn, but I work my a$$ off providing a care-free life for her and she does this in return!

I can't even think of her without wanting to puke right now. I will always provide for my son, but I think it's over for her. I am planning on dropping her health ins., at least me paying for it, and telling her to get out or pay half the bills. Have her new BF pay for it or move in with him, but I am not going to support her any longer.

But I will ALWAYS take care of my son, this is not his problem. What do you all think? And it's the cheating, not just the anal, but the anal just adds insult to injury and makes the sting all the much worse.

View related questions: cheated on me

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (18 February 2010):

How did you find out? Did she admit it to you or did you see the pictures?

Either way, there's reAlly no excuse for her to do this. Especially if you were asking for her to let you do anal and she said no. But let's some random guy do it. She is no good for you. You have put a lot into it but she won't change.

Good luck. You seem like a good guy. I'm sure you will figure it out

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (17 February 2010):

Contact a lawyer and be there for our son. Be strong. I know this is awful for you, but hang in there for the little one. Get some good legal advice and move on. You don't deserve to be treated like this.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (17 February 2010):

I never gave much thought as to how much I put in, not until I found out that she was cheating. Then the hole house of cards came falling down.

She has no job, just went through college on my dime and does this to me. I can care less what she does from this point. I also will not use my son as a pawn. I will petition for custody, as I have the means to support him; however, I will never prevent her from seeing her son.

We'll see how it all pans out, I just can't believe this is real.

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A female reader, lavish United States +, writes (17 February 2010):

OMG! I couldn’t imagine what you’re going through right now.. and no you are not over reacting….ditch her arse, you deserve better…..i wish you the best, keep your head up and we’re here for you!!!

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A female reader, Nandos17 United Kingdom +, writes (17 February 2010):

Nandos17 agony auntTo start off by bluntly answering your question; no, your not over reacting. Anyone who has been betrayed in the way you have is going to feel exactly the same - devastated. You've also mentioned her doing anal with this other person which you've explained makes you feel even more betrayed because you believed you were in a very loving, happy relationship.

I was always told that people tend to cheat when they don't feel happy in a relationship. This doesn't mean I'm blaming you for her cheating - I'm certainly not, its disgraceful behaviour - but maybe your relationship just isn't working out. The way you refer to your situation where you provide everything for her; just the language you use suggests that you didn't feel the same way you used to even before you found out she was cheating.

If you feel that you can forgive, forget and be happy in this relationship then by all means make a go of it. The priority in this is your son however and though some people may think its best for parents to remain together, sometimes thats not the case. If you were to seperate there is no reason why you should support your then ex-girlfriend.

If you were to seperate also, do not ruin her. Just seperate as cleanly as you can for the sake of your son. Take some time out, maybe take a holiday - Americas a big country, just get on a plane for the weekend - and come back feeling a little bit better with yourself and your situation.

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A male reader, CaringGuy United Kingdom +, writes (17 February 2010):

Ask her why she cheated. Then decide. You need to know her reasons.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (17 February 2010):

i say ditch her...some women take things for granted. and she allowed him anal,that stings man! i feel sorry man.you can always give her another chance but teach her a lesson first.

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