A
male
age
,
anonymous
writes:I met a wonder fun woman back in the spring. She had just come out of a very personal illness (breast cancer) as well as having been cheated on by her boyfriend during this illness. The boy friend also had a young daughter that this woman felt terrible about not seeing after thier relationship ended We went out a few times and then she out of the blue said she wasnt ready to date anyone. We stopped seeing each other but i did keep in touch with short e-mails every month or so. I recently contacted her again but as she said before with her self doubts after breast cancer and the unfaithfullness of her ex-boyfriend as well as she did not want to fall in love with my daughter and have the same thing happen again.My question is how do i convenience her that I am for real as well as to go on with her life and not live in fear of being hurt again.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (24 November 2009): hi. I'm a cancer surivor as well. lymphoma. chemo is tremndosly hard on the body and soul and my heart goes out to her for having to go thru that and a breakup. honestly only time will show her. you need to be there for her and give her the time to see what kind of man you are. don't rush her. what's the rush for? it will make her feel pressured. you know she has a big heart. let her heal and open up to you naturally. don't force it. .
A
female
reader, Dazed~Confused  +, writes (24 November 2009):
 Well, if this is something that she feel strongly about, then there is really nothing you can do to change her mind.
If you really want to try one last time, maybe you can send her an email or call her and tell her how you feel. Let her know as well that until you are both comfortable and that there is a level of trust that you both can live with, that she won't meet your daughter. This is good for your daughter as well as she won't develop any attachments to someone who may not be there for the long haul.
You might want to say that no one can predict the future, but that sometimes its worth the risk. While you cannot promise that you will never hurt her (you may do so without even knowing it), you will never do it on purpose and that you are willing to accept her b/c of who she is.
If after this she still isn't receptive, you will have to move on. She obviously has some baggage that she has to deal with, and knows that she has to deal with. She at least has enough respect for you and for herself not to jump into something that she knows she may not be able to handle.
Good luck!
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