A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I have been seeing a girl for about 5 months and had been going out for her for two weeks, before I broke up for Christmas at Uni, her and I broke up over an incident which involved me being very very drunk and a girl trying to kiss me, I know this girls lips made contact with mine but I pushed her off me. Anyway I told my girlfriend, who’s ex boyfriend had cheated on her (she found out after the relationship ended) and she broke up with me.She was angry at the time and acted irrationally in my opinion but I knew she would come around and within three days she had cooled off, but we were on a break basically.Anyway two days into the break when we were both on opposite ends of England she said to me that now the anger had gone and her being upset, she thought over what I had said and how events had transpired and she knows how much I mean to her and her feelings for me.So today is the 1st January, and she is coming up on the 3rd, we have been apart since mid December, not that long I know for distance but it’s my first experience of this sort of thing.The problem is every now and then I start to doubt her feelings for me, I know she loves me she says it to me a lot of the time and I know that she misses me because she says that as well so why do I feel as I do?She said she was going to her friends the other day, a boy who has been a good friend of hers for a few years and there was another boy there, but even then I got a bit if a funny feeling of doubt, like she could get with one of them.I think it is because I am bored at the moment. I’ve got a lot of university work to do and it’s tedious, but I know I cannot go out and waste time so I tend to sit in the house when I am not working, with not much to do except wake up and do work and sit around and not see my friends like I normally would at university and not be around her or doing sports etc. Feel a bit cooped up.I’m finding it hard being away from her for this length of time because I love her and always want to be speaking to her and when she doesn’t speak to me as much because she is busy I get the feeling that she doesn’t love me as much as she says or she doesn’t miss me.I know when I think of it that it sounds stupid and I know to all of you I sound insecure but it annoys me because I don’t come across as that in person if that makes sense?I think I am just scared of losing her at the moment in a sense. Because we broke up before we left for Christmas, I know that technically there is nothing stopping her from getting with another guy except her feelings for me and the problem is that if I doubt her feelings for me then I feel there is nothing stopping her.I need to stop doubting her feelings for me and I need to trust her. I think if I was in person with her this wouldn’t be the case because I could see her in person and text messaging and phone calls and skype are so much different to being in person.What can I do to feel better, or is it just being apart from her and everything not fully being resolved such as we are still not back together, the thing causing the problem?
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a break, broke up, christmas, drunk, insecure, text, university Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, bearN  +, writes (3 January 2012):
 I guess you ended the question details well by saying
"I need to stop doubting her feelings for me and I need to trust her. I think if I was in person with her this wouldn’t be the case because I could see her in person and text messaging and phone calls and skype are so much different to being in person."
So please keep this as a positive feeling. And don't think so much. If possible do meet her in person. That will solve all you're problems and issues.
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