A
female
age
51-59,
*ingerann
writes:why is it when my boyfriend and me are having a wonderful conversation -he somehow uses his ex as an example or part of our conversation.she stays in contact with him once a month.he said he never contacts her.i feel strange and dont like it at all!!!!!getting madd!!!!!what do i do?????
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female
reader, Dorothy Dix  +, writes (15 June 2011):
Hi there. Is his last relationship breakup with this ex, very recent?
It does sound like he is not properly over her yet.
Just by the very fact that he mentions her in conversation with you. It's inappropriate, because he's with you now - not her.
Why is she in contact with him anyway? Perhaps her aim is to get him back again. I'd be wary if I were you.
Don't start an argument with him over it, but you could tell him that it makes you feel like you don't matter to him.
You can't really demand him not talk to her. You could however, ask him how does he feel about her now though. Just see how he reacts to the question, like if he looks like he still might be interested in her. Just gauge it on his reaction.
Because if someone regularly talks about their ex in general conversation with their new partner, that proves that she is still on his mind a lot. It is something to be a bit concerned about.
In any case, you do need to mention it to him. But just be respectful and stay calm when you do.
He does need to know how it makes you feel when he does this.
If after a few weeks or a couple of months, he still persists in talking about her, you might have to make a decision to have a break from him for a little while.
If it does come to that, you could simply say to him - "I'm sorry, but as much as I like/love you, I don't enjoy feeling like I have to compete with your ex all the time. I don't like it at all. I won't stay in a situation like this. I deserve much better."
Don't let him talk you out of your decision. Just get up and walk out and say goodbye, good luck and all the best in the futue. And don't look back over your shoulder, just keep on walking.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (15 June 2011): It's odd that he brings up his ex so regularly. You should tell him how uncomfortable it makes you feel, and that you don't understand why she's always a relevant part of your conversation.
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A
male
reader, Partyboy123  +, writes (15 June 2011):
 Hey,
politely ask him not to talk about her, and if it is bothering you that he contacts her, tell him that it bothers you, and that he shouldn't be because it is a lost love, and he should just move on.
hope i helped!
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