A
female
age
36-40,
*eganrr11
writes:My ex bf Josh and I have a 5 yr old daughter together. We started dating when I was 16 yrs old and he was 18 yrs old. I got pregnant when I was 19 (she wasn't planned). We mutally decided to break up 2 yrs ago. I'm not really sure why we decided to, we just knew that it was best for us to not be in a relationship with each other. We both knew that we wanted to be the bets parents that we could be so we continued to co parent our daughter together. Since both of us had a lot of the same friends (and live in a very small town) there would be times that we would still hang out or see wach other at parties and things like that. Over the past 2 yrs I had a few friends say things about our friendship/parenting relationship because we still got along so well. Our daughters 5th birthday party was a week ag(saturday) and I had a huge party with both of our families here at my house. after the party was over Josh put our daughter to bed and stayed to help clean up. when it was done we were just sitting talking and he kissed me the next thing I knew we were in my bedroom having sex. We have never done anything like this before. after our break up we were friends and only friends. He ended up spending the night, we didnt talk we just fell asleep cuddling. The next morning he woke up when I got up and again we didnt talk he just left. Monday after school he always picks up our daughter and takes her out for dinner which he did but he asked if I would like to come along with them this week. We went out to dinner, the park and came back here and he did home work and put her to bed. We talked when we were with our daughter but never about saturday night. After she fell asleep and he was leaving it was like he wanted to say something but didnt know how. He came in the kitchen were I was and said goodnight, he came back 3 times to see if I needed anything. You could tell he was stalling for time. He left on tuesday for business meetings and from tuesday to friday afternoon he texted me 100 times just seeing how I was, how our daughter was, wanting to see if he could stop in to see her etc. On friday we he got back I had to work so he took her to a movie and to his house for the weekend. when he brought her back tonight he was weird again. He kept looking at me like he wanted to say something but didnt. he hung around after she went to bed and even helped me tidy up and out of no where he walked up to me and kissed me, It wasn't just a small little kiss it was a real deep emotional kiss then turns and walks out. I am so confused I have no idea what he is thinking or me for that matter. He texted me about 15 minutes after we left and said "I wish I could make things perfect for the 2 of you" what does he mean. I was so confused I didnt text him back and a few minutes later he wrote "I guess you don't feel the same way I do, I'm sorry" WHAT???? I have no idea what he is thinking or me for that matter. all I know is right up until last week life was simple and now I am questioning why we ever broke up in the first place? What is thinking and what do I say to him?
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female
reader, babygirllovej +, writes (27 October 2011):
 Good! I'm happy for you! :)
Keep up communicating with him and you should be fine!
Good Luck!
A
female
reader, meganrr11 +, writes (30 September 2011):
meganrr11 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionAll of our family and friends were more then supportive when we told them that we were giving our relationship another try. A few of them even said that it was about time. We had an amazing date on tuesday and have been spending a lot of time with our daughter over the past few days as a family which is amazing.
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A
female
reader, angelDlite  +, writes (26 September 2011):
 well i hope your friends and family are pleased for you, i suppose some of them will be worried also but remind them that NOBODY gets a guarantee with their relationship. you have good as good a chance as any though coz you have been a couple before, broke up but still remained friends, you too obviously have more maturity than a lot of people twice your age!
best wishes :)
x
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A
female
reader, meganrr11 +, writes (26 September 2011):
meganrr11 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI decided to call him and ask him if he wanted to come by and talk. He did and we pretty much stay up half the night talking about EVERYTHING. we talked about what went wrong in our last relationhsip, saturday night, what we see our lives liek later and we both agreed that we were jsut so young when we first met and we needed to the time with out each other to actually grow up ourselves (if that makes sense). w ehave decided to give it another shot. I have always had feeling for him but I thought it was one of those things where he was my first love so i would always have a place for him in my heart but after this past week made me think I'm still in love woth him. So today we are going on a family dinner with our daughter and our first "real" date night is tuesday.The only things I keep worrying about is what everyone (our family and friends) will think of all of this. The have constantly made comments about our friendship so I know they will have something to say about us now.
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A
female
reader, angelDlite +, writes (26 September 2011):
yeah i know what you mean about changing things and your daughter being hurt if things don't work out. maybe you could keep things low key in front of her. just date him, don't have him move in with you or stay the night until you are sure you can make it work. she is used to seeing him at your home anyway so it will be nothing out of the ordinary to her. she will just see you as being friends, such the same as you are now.
but you know, everyone in a relationship runs the risk of things not working out and maybe the kids being disappointed. so what do you do? never get in a relationship again, with anyone? i actually believe that most kids are more resilient to this sort of thing that people give them credit for. i still think it would be a shame to not give your relationship another chance. your little girl could have the chance here to grow up with 2 parents together, who love, respect and take care of each other and these days that seems a bit of a rarity!
me and my sons dad broke up when he was just a year old, we get on ok (although he does not do his fair share of childcare and financially) and i have spent the last 12 years in and out of relationships with men who have not really wanted my son around because he is not their child. if me and my ex still had feelings for each other so we could be in a relationship that would be fantastic and my son would have grown up with a full time dad in his life, but unfortunately we don't
x
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A
female
reader, meganrr11 +, writes (26 September 2011):
meganrr11 is verified as being by the original poster of the question@angekdlite I agree that the main reason for us breaking up was the fact that we started dating so young and having our daughter and everything at the age we did. He isnt a bad guy like I said we broke mutually. I have thought about getting back together before but I worry what everyone else will think and what effect it will have on our daughter. She wasnt even 3 when we broke up so the relationship that we have now is th eonly relationship that she remembers. I'm afraid if we give it a try and we didnt make it work how she would handle it.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (26 September 2011): Awww he sounds like such a sweetheart. I think you should get back together and it sounds like you have feelings for him too. Why else would you have sex with him even if it wasn't planned. If you do get back together, please please please post it for all of us hopeless romantics!
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A
female
reader, Miss.Me  +, writes (26 September 2011):
 Since he's been such a great dad, and it doesn't seem like he's been a bad person at all, why don't you two try being together again? It might be good for your daughter, and maybe you'll have a better relationship than before. Take it slow if you want, but it really sounds like he's trying to be with you again.
Talk to him, discuss things. You two are not communicating well enough right now.
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A
female
reader, angelDlite +, writes (26 September 2011):
why not give things another shot? you say you don't know why you broke up in the first place so there is obviously no big issue or problem that caused the break up. maybe it was just the age of you both and the responsibility of a child together that got too much but you are both a little older now and have had time away from each other. it could be better this time around
x
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A
female
reader, babygirllovej +, writes (26 September 2011):
He clearly wants to be with you and was hurt when you didn't respond to his text message. I suggest telling him that you two need to sit down and talk.
Take care!
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A
female
reader, babygirllovej +, writes (26 September 2011):
It's very clear he wants to be with you. When he sent you that text he was hurt when you didn't respond.
Talk to him and explain how you feel and listen to him. Just send him a text message explaining that you want to talk to him.
Take care
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A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (26 September 2011):
 Aw he wants to be back with you. It is obvious he still has feelings for you and wants to be closer to you. He thinks though that you don't share those feelings. If you want to be with him then you need to tell him how you feel. Aw I just love happy endings and from your post I really hope this is going to be one of them. When you had your daughter you where really young but you have both growing up and he is showing now that he wants to be with you. If you still like him please text him back and tell him you feel the same way.
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