A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Dear Cupid,I am 22 male and still a virgin. I fancy girls sometimes, but mostly men. i get aroused watching gay porn, I sometimes get aroused at watching straight porn (maybe because there are men in the movie) and the strange thing is that I get aroused at watching lesbian porn!! I am really confused. It really depends on my mood which one I want to watch, but mostly is gay. I think the thing that gets me closer to liking guys is the fact that want someone to protect me, and to understand me better. Anyway...Well, the thing is that I accepted myself to be gay/bi, but... i can't imagine my life with a man. I can only see me with a woman, having family etc. I want that, but the reason I hold back is that I never been with a girl sexually (or a man so to speak) so I am afraid I wont get aroused... ALthough I read in scientific articles that arousal comes on the moment, since gays can sometimes not get aroused at sexual intercourse with men...What is your opinion? Should I try date a girl and see where it goes?Thanks again, eager to hear...
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male
reader, AvgGuy1  +, writes (25 June 2011):
 I'd say... that you need to get out there and date, and/or have sex with, BOTH guys and girls.
But you also have to be open about your orientation with both whomever you're dating.
You don't want to make the mistake of suppressing one over the other in favor of what you might feel society (parents, friends, etc.) expects of you and in the long term 'damaging' yourself.
I've seen and heard of too many men getting married, fathering children, and then eventually divorcing and coming out (whether it's bi or gay), and causing all kinds of turmoil just because they suppressed the sexuality in favor of what society expected.
I've also seen/heard of many guys who are in relationships with other guys who just all the sudden 'decide' that they are straight and then terminate the relationship causing their partners emotional distress.
A
female
reader, alwaysbelieve +, writes (24 June 2011):
I write this as a girl who has a very strong friendship with a gay/bi guy like yourself... we're pretty much married. haha
I think that if you can see yourself with a woman in the future, meanwhile you are really attracted to guys... I'd say you're gay-leaning bi...
Now, in answer to your 'should i date a girl?' question....
If you decide you wish to pursue a relationship with a girl (which I sort of think you should), be careful!!! Don't hurt her.. it just wouldn't be fair on her.
I think if you already have a girl in your life who you sort of fancy and could maybe see yourself with in the future, spend lots of time with her so that you are close emotionally and can share your confusion- that way she knows what she's getting into. Don't date a girl who has no idea whats going on...
My thoughts anyway :-)
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