A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hi guys. I need some help here. I'm 26 and have been in a relationship with my girlfriend, 23, for over six years. It had a wobble or two when we first started but its been pretty plain sailing no problems ever since, we were very happy. We planned to get a house. We started the process and were close to moving in, but now things have fallen apart. She ended it last night and I've had to cancel the house, joint account etc. She's told me that she has started to develop feelings for someone who she works with. They're taken so its unlikely anything will happen, but she thought it was unfair on me for us to carry on.She says she needs her space / a break to sort her feelings out. But she keeps contacting me. I can't resist talking to her either, cos I miss her so much. I'm worried if we don't talk at all, she'll forget about me and move on. I pray that this will blow over, and we'll be back to normal. But even if that does happen, I'm gonna be worried about this happening again in the future. I don't think we could ever get a house now, not under both our names. I don't know what to do.
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female
reader, Aunty Babbit +, writes (23 August 2013):
 Your girlfriend ended it as she needed her space, but then keeps contacting you. She was honest about her feelings but it would still have been painful for you especially as it concerns another guy.She can't have her cake and eat it!This is very unfair on you, I think you should give her all the space she needs. Don't answer her texts, don't take her calls, don't meet up and talk.One of two things will happen, she will move on and so will you or she will realise what a wonderful guy you are, that you are her best friend and she misses you and is in love with you after all and move heaven and earth to patch it up.That's when you have to decide what you want. Trust takes a very long time to build but can be shattered in seconds. You can rebuild trust again, it just takes a very long time.You sound like such a nice man, I hope everything works out x
A
male
reader, Darrell Goodliffe +, writes (19 August 2013):
 Well, credit too her, I think we can all agree, no matter how much it has hurt you, she has done the right thing. Look at it this way, what she has said has hurt you but at least she didnt let this get to the point and cheat, she has done the honest thing and backed off to sort her own head out, so, you say you will worry about it happening again but at least you know you can trust her to be honest.
The problem you have is that everything is now out of your hands, she has to now decide what she wants to do, and you have to toddle on with your own life as best you can. The fact that she is constantly contacting you suggests she needs to be on here asking a question because it seems like she is voluntarily surrendering her space which leads me to ask why she did this in the first place.
I think you have to live for the now. See your friends, work hard, play hard, do whatever floats your boat and keeps your mind busy and let her come to things in her own time. Good luck.
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