A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I've been in a "friends with benefits" situation for the past 6 months with a good acquaintance of mine that I've known for several years. I've been okay with it - I knew that he was still scoping out other girls, and I've been open to dating others as well, although I've been so busy that it's pretty impossible for me to keep a relationship.Early this month, he had to go around the country for work for almost the entire month. We don't talk much outside of our meetings except with occasional emails, although lately we had been taking day trips to parks and cities together. I expected him to be busy, but we started texting here and there and by the end of the first week, we were texting each other constantly and talking on the phone every other night. He even sent me a postcard. I initially thought he was lonely, but it turns out he was meeting lots of people as well and really excited to tell me about it. He just came back this week, and we just went to a small memorial day cookout. We haven't gotten physical yet (and he hasn't tried anything outside of a hug), but I don't think I would be able to handle it.I'm not sure what to do. Before the trip, I was okay with our situation, but now, I think I like him. A lot. I'm not sure what to do.
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female
reader, Mickkiee  +, writes (2 June 2011):
 Hi. I think we all expereience this at one part or another. We all want to try something out and know that if we don't like it or don't want to continue we can end it. in a sense we want almost like a physical non commitment relationship. However, sometimes this cannot be somethimes we feel so special with someone when we know that no one else knows but is it love, lust or just the passion of the secrecy. To be honest i know what you mean i liked a guy who acted as if i was the only girl for him when we were together but i would see him around the show talking to other girls flirting with them but i felt nothing until one day when i realised that i was actually hoping he would walk past me so i could just see him and i realised it had to stop so i stoped flirting with him and in a way i thought that that would mean he would chase more but he didnt and no doubt there is some other girl thinking she is his only girl at this moment in time.However, i went through a stage where i didnt want commitment i was happy just to flirt with whom i wanted and have no consequences. Now im in a relationship and am as happy as can be. But for me i reliased that it was not love or lust it was about the chase, the secrecy and when the adrelaline rush left or the fear of being caught kissing in the corridor or just the general what would such and such say i relaised it wasnt what i wanted at all. I think it more about the chase for you too however you haev began to develop feelings for him i would honestly advise you to find out where you stand otherwise you will never know how far you can go. Hope this helps Mickkiee
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