A
male
age
41-50,
*ugustine
writes:Hi, I am implicitly going nuts over my friend. I met this girl about a year and 6 months and we have been very good friends. I wanted to ask her out but I was scared of loosing her as my friend. Eventually I did because I just could'nt shake the feeling. Well, she turned me down saying I was nice but she was not interested. before now, I saw her about once or twice a week and before now I called occasionally, text some times, send emails and even drive down to her work place. When I observed she was not returning my calls or even reciprocating in any way, I asked her why?Her answer was simple, she was busy and had other things to take care of.After this I stopped mailing, visiting. I only call twice a week and text twice a week.Now, when we meet, she wants to be around me in places we go to. Before I asked her out, she will shrug me off If I held her hand. Now she allows me hold her hand and even hugs. We now laugh together and we more open with each other but she just doesn't return calls, mails, texts etc.I am confused because nothing makes sence and nothing adds up any more. She is a student and for that reason, decided not to pressure her or visit her often.I am inclined to leave her and move on but I need some advice.NOTE: Personally, I am not that experienced with women so be brutally honest with me even if it hurts.
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female
reader, Lauren..  +, writes (13 May 2009):
 Heya
I think that she doesnt want a relationship with you, which is why she doesnt return your calls, texts, emails etc.
However, I think she likes the attention you give her when you are together, so she still hugs you etc, because she wants your attention, despite not wanting to be with you, if that makes sense? Its a bit of an insecurity thing. She still wants you to want her, evne if she doesnt want you. Or at least thats what it sounds like to me?!
My advice is to stop these calls, texts and hugs etc, and see what happens from then on. I mean, if she tries to hug you all the time despite you not making the effort with her, then my theory might be correct? She is annoyed that you arent paying her the attention anymore and she wants it back.
If this happens, cut all ties with her because it will only lead to you being hurt in the long run, and you will be built up for nothing.
Good Luck!
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (12 May 2009): Dude you have answered your own question, leave her and move on, she isnt interested so on you go. thats the hard part , fair play for having the cojones to ask it, i dont think you messed up a friendship if you were feeling it then you should say it,
Kudos my man,
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