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age
30-35,
anonymous
writes: Hello everyone, hope you all are doing well. Well, I don't want anyone to get the wrong idea here and think of me as a drama queen or things like that. But there is a serious problem I have been having.To make a very long story some what short, there is this girl who is very close with a lot of my friends. Problem is that she causes a lot of drama, sleeps around and has relationships with almost all of my friends, and is very mean to me and/or she will ignore me and make me feel very uncomfortable, just the type of person I personally would never want to become friends with.It is not like I can really ignore her or avoid her as she is friends with a lot of my friends and every time me and a few friends want to talk online or even hang out sometimes, she is always around, and she'll make me miserable during the whole conversation. This woman tries/has tried to get with literally almost every guy I know, some of them have even came to me with all of these problems they had with her which is why I know she does this. I've heard people call her bad names behind her back and are always telling stories about some of the bad things she has done, but then they go and act all nice to her and still deal with her as if they were never even talking about her. So I know I am not the only one who feels like this about her. I am now starting to feel really sad and stressed out because I care a lot about my friends and it honestly makes me sick that this woman is going around and doing all of this stuff. I can't stand this girl and I can't stand how stressful this is making me. I guess I don't really know what my question is here...but how exactly should I go about dealing with all of this? I'm sorry if this problem may be stupid to some of you, but it's kind of a big problem to me and I don't know what to do about it. I try to stay out of all of this as much as I can and I have not said anything to any of my friends about how this all makes me feel because I don't want to start any more drama.Thank you all Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Dorothy Dix  +, writes (14 March 2013):
Hi there. First of all, is this girl you are talking about, new to your area?
And are you talking about a school or college environment that you are friends, with these other people?
Or, are you talking about more of a social environment that you are friendly with these other girls, and this girl you don't like, has pushed into the group recently?
As you don't seem to have mentioned it here, I will just have to make some assumptions.
If it is a school or college environment, well then you might have to see if you can single out one or two of your friends, and just talk to them, and see if you can find a way of just being with them and not this other girl tagging along as well.
The main thing is - whatever the situation or where - it is important, that you remove yourself from that situation as much as you can, as it makes you unhappy and not at peace.
Even though it seems from what you have said here, that you knew these other girls and guys before this new girl came onto the scene.
As long as she isn't badmouthing you to all your friends, it might be that she just wants some friends or her own to hang out with, and has chosen these friends of yours to be HER friends.
Maybe, she is even jealous of you in some way.
People feel jealousy for all different reasons, such as:-
(1) A person's looks.
(2) Their popularity with other people.
(3) Their intellectual ability and how well they are doing in their life or if it is at school or college, a person who does really well at everything they do.
And many, many other reasons as well.
So perhaps she is jealous of you in some way.
Because, it seems clear that she is trying to do her best to have YOUR friends to herself, and kind of exclude you.
It looks that way to me.
So despite how much you like all the people you have been hanging out with - before this girl came along - it could be time to find yourself some new friends.
Because, you wouldn't choose her to be your friend anyway, as you have said here, so you don't want to join the crowd because she makes you feel uncomfortable, so all it does it cause you a lot of unneccessary stress.
And you can do without that.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (14 March 2013): Just tell her you need to talk to her write a note or even text her what ever makes you comfortable and tell her that " as a friend " and tell her what people say behind her back dont give names and tell her how she makes you feel if she doesnt like it then just tell her you understand and try to find other friends besides the ones you hang out with
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