A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hey everybody, i was wondering what your opioion on friends with benfits is. I have a male friend to who i am sexually attracted to, he shares these feeling as well. We want to start a friend with benfits type of relationship that includes everything from kissing all the way to sex. should i just have funny and play around with him or should i try and get him to commit?? any thing u can give i would really help.
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female
reader, lily13524 +, writes (10 June 2010):
 I have been in a friends with benefit relationship for a while and i ended up being hurt at the end of it all.If he is not ready to settle down with you alone you should not get involve with him in any romantic way.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (9 June 2010): Good to hear you've chosen another path. As many others have said, in these relationships one person will usually end up falling for the other and the relationship will end badly.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (5 June 2010): You are very young, and should explore sex at whatever pace feels right. Do not set a stage with a title ("sex with benefits"). Let it be what it is, and take it from there. If you both have no feelings of romance or love, and just want to fuck, in my opinion you are better off just watching porn or masturbating...less risk and it's legal (I see you are under 18). But don't engage in open relationships if you cant handle the pain that could result if one or both of you find greener pastures.
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reader, anonymous, writes (5 June 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthank you so to all of you!! just to let you know i have choosen another path
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (4 June 2010): Nope. If youre only good enough for that in his eyes. Tell him to hire a hooker and you find yourself a regular boyfriend x
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male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (4 June 2010):
My learned female friends on here have all given you great answers. I'll give you a male one. FWB means nothing but sex. There is no commitment, no real care, no closeness, no real emotional connection. Nothing. It's about sex, and that's it. If you even think that he will commit, if you fancy him for more than just sex, then don't do it. About 9/10 questions on this site about FEB are from women who have gone and fallen for the man, then found that he's not interested. It nearly always ends with the woman getting hurt. 1/10 it's the guy who gets hurt.
You mentioned you'd like to get him to commit. He won't. He's not interested in you that much. He just wants you for sex. Make your own decision, but I'm not sure this is best for you.
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A
female
reader, Tashie08 +, writes (4 June 2010):
if you are hopin that he will commit to you after a while,then don't get into it as you will only ed up broken hearted. but if all you are after is someone to fool around and ave fun without,without al the strings of a relationship then g for it!!wish i had done that instead of settling down it ould have made things easier. Just make clear of what you both expect from thjis, he might think its ok to sleep with others etc an you don't,or vuce versa. hope it works out x
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A
female
reader, janniepeg  +, writes (4 June 2010):
 Are you of legal age of consent in you state. Sorry, routine check. I sense that you are trying to protect your feelings in case he's not into anything serious. Unless you are depressed or have a mental problem, you should always give relationships a shot. FWBs are only fun when you are still hopeful that a relationship would take place. The moment he mentions he's not looking for a relationship, the fun goes away, and so does the sex. I seriously cannot have sex without the heart and soul. I also feel that men who cannot handle a relationship are too wimpy, and therefore do not deserve my attention. You can try FWB just to see what it feels like. It's not something to brag about and something you want to hold on to. Learning to separate love from sex is not a skill, it's a ploy to avoid real intimacy.
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female
reader, person12345 +, writes (4 June 2010):
 A friend with benefits situation can only work when both people have no romantic feelings for each other. If you both want nothing but making out/sex with each other then it can work. But emotional feelings can make the fwb thing miserable. Often one person ends up falling for the other and gets their heart broken.
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A
female
reader, Blondiebrooke69 +, writes (4 June 2010):
Well it can be fun u just have to make sure u both understand that its just that and if ur both ok with it ull probably just have alot of fun
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A
female
reader, YouWish +, writes (4 June 2010):
 Friends with Benefits always ends badly, especially for the girl. You don't want to set the FWB standard for the guy if you actually have feelings for him that run stronger than that.
You're also young, and sex has a lot of risks. A FWB relationship isn't a secure one for dealing with those risks (STD/pregnancy). FWB also implies no strings, meaning he can be sleeping with 10 other women with the same understanding, and you can have nothing to say about it.
Also, and this is MOST important, Sex is no way to make feelings closer. Sex will never cause commitment. Good sex is a PRODUCT of an already existing commitment.
Don't do it.
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