A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:(Moderator note: broke this into paragraphs to make it easier to follow)One weekend back when I was in school I saw a girl from one of my classes walking by the food court in the mall. I just happened to see that she had some type of accident with her period. I didn't want to embarrass her but I walked up next to her and I said, look I don't want to embarrass you but I think you need to go to the bathroom. She got really embarrassed and she started crying. I didn't know what to do so I gave her my sweatshirt and she tied it around her waist then I walked with her a little ways. There were some teenage boys laughing to but I don't know if they were laughing at her or if they were just laughing. I walked with her to the restroom and then I didn't know what to do. I didn't know if I should stick around for her or if she didn't need me around at all so I just left. I had known her since elementary school and she never was very nice to me before but when I saw her in school on Monday morning she walked right up to me and she gave me a big hug and told me that she thought I was really sweet. I promised her I wouldn't tell anyone and I never did (except this time on the internet). We never dated but we got to be very good friends. Even though I liked her a lot I was afraid to jeoparise our friendship. Later I started hanging out with her friends and we went all went to the beach. After I had came out of the water there were these little tiny shower rooms on the beach. After I went in one of my friends switched the sign that said men's room to lady's room. She came up with her friends when I was in there rinsing off the salt She walked in with her friends and when she saw me with no clothes on she started laughing and she said "it's really small". I got really mad and I pushed right by them and I left. I got so mad that I didn't hang out with her any more. After this incident I have been too embarrassed to be naked with a girl. As luck would have it I recently ran into her at the same mall at the same food court all those years ago and I walked right up to her and I told her that I couldn't believe how she treated me especially when she knew what it was like to be humiliated and she told me something that made me feel like the biggest idiot on the face of the earth. Back at the shower when she was walking in with her friends she said "it's really small" she couldn't even see me yet. Her comment was about how small the shower room was. They were already laughing when they walked in and then when they saw me they were laughing because I was naked and not at my penis. She thought all this time that I was mad because that same day she took a hit off a joint for the first time which I was mad about but not the real issue. Well the real truth is that I have always had a crush on her. Ever since we were in elementary school and boys aren't supposed to admit that they like girls. We started hanging out again and she asked me if I had ever had sex. I told her that I had been too embarrassed to be naked with a girl because I thought my penis was too small then she told me that she wants to have sex with me. I really want to but I have only kissed before and I have never even kissed her. I dreamed of being with her since I can remember but I don't want it to be this way. I feel like she's only saying that she wants to do it out of guilt. I don't know if she feels the same way about me. My head is spinning. I know that she likes me but I think I feel a lot stronger towards her than she does to me. What do I need to tell her? What should I ask her?
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male
reader, willow1989  +, writes (19 April 2010):
tell her from personal experience i know its absolute hell keeping your feelings a secret and also she is probably feeling the same just to embarassed to say. tell her you like her but you dont want it to come in the way of your friendship and that way if she doesnt feel the same as you do you can carry on as you were all be it not as easy for you from personal experience again lol
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (19 April 2010): I agree. She might intend for this to a steady sexual relationship or she might not. You need to find that out before you go farther. She might just wanna devirginize you as a favor but not go farther.
Either way I don't think she's offering just out of pity. Most girls don't do that in general. And I don't think you're purely in the Friend Zone in her mind.
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A
male
reader, TimmD +, writes (19 April 2010):
 Since you helped her out all those years ago she probably started liking you. Though it seems like a huge misunderstanding, she's gotta have SOME feelings for you or at least be attracted to you.
I'd start by telling her you've always like her and respected her too much to just have sex. Ask her if you guys can start hanging out together again and maybe going out on some dates.
Stress to her that you just respect her too much to "just" have sex.
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A
female
reader, Polaroid93 +, writes (19 April 2010):
Go for it!! It's like your dream woman! I'd advise looking up some things like what's what on and in the vagina so you know what your doing!
Good luck, just be greatful
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A
female
reader, raiders +, writes (19 April 2010):
 Talk to her find out if she is just interested in sex or in a relationship. She might have been giving you signals all this time but you were caught up in this misunderstanding. Girls don't just offer sex she must like you.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (19 April 2010): I understand that you think she's doing it out of guilt but tell her that you don't want her do it out of guilt she will say what she thinks and there is nothing wrong with wanting to be with her since you can renember girls like the Honest and Nice Guys! Hope This Helps
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A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (19 April 2010):
 I don't think she said she wants to sleep with you out of guilt. Guilt for what ? For a silly misunderstanding that was not her fault to begin with, and that did not really cause any serious consequences execept a temporary bruise to your ego ?
Plus , generally girls don't say thay want to sleep with a guy out of guilt, or politeness. We are not so sensitive and unselfish :). If a girl says she wants to sleep with you, that's most probably ...because she wants to sleep with you.
Here the problem is different. you have a massive crush on her, while it's not clear if she feels the same - and that if he wants to sleep with you just once, or casually, or while dating you steadily. You'd better find this out asap, so that you know what you can expect , and make up your mind accordingly.
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A
female
reader, Redoctober +, writes (19 April 2010):
Dear Anonymous,I must commend your courage. You have known this girl for a few years now from what I read but the closest you have ever become is friends. If you both want it to be more than that then my advice is to do it right. I don't advise sleeping together just for the fun of it.The two of you have to talk and decide what you each want from each other. Like you say yourself, sleeping with her just because she might feel it is a way of cancelling her guilt is not the answer. For one thing you have feelings for her which she doesn't seem to know about and you have issues with your self esteem which you must deal with first before starting anything with anyone for that matter.My advice is to take things slow. Talk to her and find out if she feels the same way about you the way you feel about her. If you are both on the same page then don't rush anything. Strengthen your friendship first and gain the trust you lost in her all those years ago.If she doesn't feel the same way than you have to let it go. I would not advise sleeping with her just because she wants to repay a debt.Good luck
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A
female
reader, confide in kirsty +, writes (19 April 2010):
 well for a start about your penis, my boyfriends is small when not errect, and when he is washing or he bends over to get into the bath it squeezes in and goes tiny but when errect, well lets just says its different lol im not sure what yours is like but maybe yours gets bigger too, if not oh well its not the end of the world, these girls are obviously immature and shallow and just ignore them, however this girl you like may not think like that she may not care, and if you have told her you've only kissed then she has figured out your a virgin and doesnt care, but if you dont want to get hurt and want to know how she feels, what she has said to you cannot be ignored so just sit her down and explain everything!! do not hold back and if shes fine with it then go ahead but if she changes her mind then shes just as bad as the rest .x.
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