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Friend or enemy

Tagged as: Friends, Three is a crowd, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Article - (10 September 2007) 9 Comments - (Newest, 26 September 2007)
A female United Kingdom age 36-40, Laydee V writes:

Well I have a friend who is the same age as me (20) and we fell out because she couldn't stay round mine. She called me a bad mum and that she was embarresed to hang around with me because im slightly bigger than her.. Recently we made up and ever since it feels as if she is flirtin with my boyfriend.. I get jealous easy because all of my ex boyfriends have cheated on me or beaten me up or even raped me and I love my boyfriend to bits. She keeps asking for his number and she never asks how I am anymore and it upsets me.. I just wish she would stop it and I don't want to tell her as I can't be bothered to argue anymore..

View related questions: cheated on me, flirt, jealous, my ex

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A female reader, Ms.Sweet dreams Philippines +, writes (26 September 2007):

Ms.Sweet dreams agony auntwell.. obviously she is not ur friend. why should she need to get ur bf no.? she is a snake. if i were u i will confront her and tell leave ur bf and u alone. she just want to broke up ur happy relationship. she is insecure that u r pretty than her thats why ur bf choose u. stand tall girl and proud of urself. God Bless!!!

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A female reader, Laydee V United Kingdom +, writes (18 September 2007):

Laydee V is verified as being by the original poster of the question

thank u all for all ur support.. I am 20 and ive spoke my boyfriend about it and he says he loves me and wouldnt dream of being with her.. but thank u all uve made me realise wat a bitch she actually is. i thought i was the only one who realised xXx much love vicky xXX

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A reader, anonymous, writes (18 September 2007):

We throw trash in the garbage,and so it should also be with relationships, that are nothing more than relational- trash. Sounds like that is what you need to be doing with your,not a true friend,Gf.

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A female reader, Lilli b United Kingdom +, writes (18 September 2007):

Lilli b agony auntThis is not a friend of yours. If she was a friend she would not care what size you were - unless she feared for your health or believes you to be unahppy and wants to support you. This 'friend' would not flirt with your boyfriend because she would respect you and respect your relationship. This 'friend' would know that you have insecurities based on your past experiences.

Dump the 'friend'. She is not good enough for you.

As someone else has posted you are strong and beautiful and do not deserve this from anyone - she is no better than some of the absuive 'boyfriends' from your past.

You don't say how your boyfriend has responded but I am assuming that he has either not noticed or has not responded. Great if this is the case and I hope you have a strong and loving relationship.

But don't be afraid to ask for and expect the best whether that be from a friend or boyfriend. What has happened in the past can leave a scar (I know from personal experience) that can leave you feeling like you do not deserve better but you do and you should always ask yourself - is this good enough for me?

Good luck and I hope you find some new friends who deserve your friendship soon

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A male reader, bobbb United Kingdom +, writes (16 September 2007):

She sounds like she's chidish and shallow you don't break a friendship because of size i wouldnt waste my time on her-by the way is she a mum if she isn't she cannot judje you on being a bad parent

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A reader, anonymous, writes (16 September 2007):

Just tell her that it really bothers you when she's flirting with your bf, do it in a nice way, but if she still do her dirty tricks to steal your man. Try to wake up girl! this b***h is a sl*t! get her the dose of what she desrves!

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A female reader, secrets-x-sh! United Kingdom +, writes (13 September 2007):

secrets-x-sh! agony auntim sorry to hear about that.

what youv been through you dont desurve that friendship, she sounds like a right cow and i know how u feel about saying something because i hate argueing too its the worst thing in the world to have an enemy but sweetheart this is worth saying something, its not petty shes being a bitch and shel keep doing the longer you dont say nothing because she thinks shes getting away with it, and as for your boyfriend if he loves you so he wont fall for her stupid flirting acts and questions.

Your mate is definatly in the wrong.

Shecant tell you how to be parent and saying your a bad parent is wrong because evryone has there own way of parenting i mean i dont no how u parent but im presuming its perfectly fine! dont listen to her! dont take it to heart! you are who you are! and you can do what you want!

If your friend says that to you, * shes embaresed to go out with you* tell her to fuck right off, babe it doesnt matter how big you are at all, thats what makes you .YOU.INDIVIDUAL. Shes most likely jelous of your bf and your personality.

Shes not a friend to you.

Shes a Bully.

You stand up for your rights!

Much Love becky xx

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A reader, anonymous, writes (12 September 2007):

Sweetheart, youve been through hell and back. You do not deserve to be treated like this by anyone!

Drop this girl, straight away she is damageing to you. Your past sounds a horrific and brutal one, you deserve the best! from this moment onwards you are a SURVIVOR.

You are strong inside.

This girl is a negative influence on your life, you do not need to have this around you.

You have a boyfriend you love and a child, your world is looking up! Surround yourself with people who bring you up not pull you down.A true friend will be their for you and support you and want the best for you. Find that friend my dear.My heart goes out to you. Godbless.

From a fellow survivor

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A female reader, Pron Wife Canada +, writes (11 September 2007):

A true friend would not care about your size.. and would not ask your boyfriend for his number... especially if she knows your past.. She is NOT your friend.. can you talk to your boyfriend about how you feel about her? If you can, then he is a good guy.. If you cant.. he is not a good guy and you need to make some changes in your life... You can be in your life when you want to be.. stand strong and do what is right for you.. Girl friends and Boyfriends will come and go in your life but you have to be true to yourself.... I dont know how old you are but you can make some changes to make you come out on top..... Good LUCK..

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