A
female
age
51-59,
*abby
writes:I am married to my bff. I also have another best friend who is also married. We had an emotional affair that ended when work warned us. His wife works in office at our job as well. We still text daily but here is now the problem. He became one of my bosses at work. Now he refuses to talk to me alone outside of his office. He says he doesn't want rumors to start up again about us but its ok if I hang out with him in his office and no one says anything. Ok am I the only one who finds this odd. To me it makes me feel like he sees this as ok cause it makes me look like I'm (in my eyes) stacking him. I have spoken to him about this and he says for some reason no rumors are being spread now cause of this. The rumors we heard before, I only heard from him and one other lady at work. She just happened to come back to work the day before work said something to us. I feel like all the rumors were from her or worse him. He gave himself the title of my best friend which he is he knows all my secrets but if he is truly my best friend why would he act this way? I feel like i'm back in high school. If people are truly your friend then nothing should come between that. Btw... his wife and my hubby know of our friendship and we go out and do stuff as couples. We have other than at work worked past the ea to have a close friendship. How do I get him to realize that it really kills me inside when he avoids me just to avoid rumors?
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affair, at work, best friend, my boss, text Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (12 October 2010): have you thort that mayb he loves his wife and the "emotional affair " that you were having was probably going to be damaging to his relationship and even yours! If you dont want more accusations the this is prob for ur own good hun x
A
female
reader, thelittleone! +, writes (12 October 2010):
 sweetie!
I have to tell you "let it be" it doesn´t really matter what he thinks or everybody thinks about u! because you have to value yourself then nothing it´s gonna hurt u!
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A
female
reader, birdynumnums  +, writes (12 October 2010):
 The fact that you have crossed emotional boundaries is evident because you are agonizing over this whole scenario. You are kidding yourself that you are bff's or 'friendly couples'. You are 'stacking' him, or, stocking him. You have to face the music and come clean to yourself, you are CRUSHING on this guy big time, and that is CHEATING Hun! Emotional affair or not, You Should be BFF's with your Hubbie, not some office Lothario.
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A
female
reader, Auntie E +, writes (12 October 2010):
 This is your bottom line question: How do I get him to realize that it really kills me inside when he avoids me just to avoid rumors? In 2 words - you can't. You are not going to get him to "realize" anything. He only cares about himself. Do yourself a favor - redirect all the energy you have been putting into this "emotional affair" into the relationship you already have with your husband. Stop trying to get this guy's attention - you will only wind up looking like a fool. Not being mean here- just realistic. See this for what it is. He does not care about you. Put your best effort into your marriage - not this guy. Ok?
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