| A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes: i have recently found out that my girlfriend of five years kissed another man at her work.For the first four years of our relationship we were blissfully happy and got engaged.This past year i became controlling and emotionally bullied her, threatening to end it many times, she eventually snapped and told me she wasnt in love with me any more, but agreed to try and make it work. since then we have rebuilt our relationship to where it was before. this has now been shattered due to me finding out about the kiss (which she instigated).the kiss happened a few weeks after she snapped.despite my part in this, im devastated. Should i stay or go?
View related questions:
bullied, engaged Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, eddie  +, writes (22 December 2006):
 You've listed all your bad points that possibly lead up to the kiss. Accept it for what it was. If what you've said about yourself is true, she wasn't happy with you at that moment. Maybe you are responsible for that feeling. I thik it's your pride that's hurt. It's understandable but think about all thenegative things you said about yourself. Chalk this up to painful lesson. How did you find out about the kiss?
A
male
reader, cherub +, writes (22 December 2006):
 It is complicated due to the fact that she was going through an emotional roller coaster at that time.As you said you were controlling and bullied her emotionally so it not that difficult to understand that she had seeked some form of reassurances that she is still,(1) a woman (2)desirable (3)be treated well (4)rebuilding self esteem.
It may have been done at the spur of the moment.You had talked it over with her and if it is just that then there is nothing more to it especially she did not go any further.You felt devastated,fair enough as it should be otherwise you wouldn't have love her that much.It could also be that your ego is hurt as well.It is horrible for you and such a shame to destroy a rebuilt loving relationship. Same old cliche,sit down with her and tell her exactly what you wrote here and work out the hurt.You can work through it and hopefully strenthen your relationship,understanding each other weaknesses and solve issues before they become a mountain to climb.Building trust need time and you will need time to let this episode of your life fades into insignificance.
Just a shame she did not mentioned it rather then you finding out.Anyway if she did it when your relationship was strong then I would suggest you move on,because you can bet your life it will happen again especially when there is some flaw or complacency in the relationship.
So it seems this relationship is worth saving and best of wishes for both of you and a brighter new year.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (22 December 2006): Well, we can't tell you to stay or go. What do YOU feel you should do? Do you want to stay with her, even though she kissed another guy from the rage and unlove she felt throughout the last year with you, or do you want to hold onto her, and try to work out the problems you have, possibly ending this relationship in positive marriage?
...............................
|
