A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:my fiance is married! She gave me some lame story of how she and her ex got married overseas and neither did anything to get a divorce. now we're scheduled to be married soon. do i leave her for lying to me or try and work through this?
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male
reader, evas +, writes (21 June 2008):
Man, you need to step away, and do it quickly. You definetly DO NOT need to marry this person right now or maybe never. If you were looking at this post from someone else, you'd probably say "Run while you still can!" Eh? If she'll hide a little fact like being married, what else will she hide?
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (20 June 2008): How long has she been married to this person? I think she should have told you this before you even dated. I don't know the circamstances but if she was married at a spur of the moment thing and they broke up you would think that they would want a divorse or annulment. Maybe it is hard to do this because they have to do the divorse in the country they were married? But i'm pretty sure married couples are recodnized in all countries! I had a guy I dated once tell me after we got serious that he had children. So I kind of know how you feel.To have someone lie about something so big! You ethier have to get over it or not and move on.I moved on Thinking that if they could lie to me about something so big what else could they lie about. Marriage is about honesty and trust. If you love her and feel that you can get over this then get her to get a divorse as soon as possible BEFORE THE WEDDING. I agree with the above post. Even better if they just got married on a spur of the moment thing and realy didn't live like man and wife an anulment is best. It's realy up to how you feel about her and if you truly love her. Good luck
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A
female
reader, lotus mama808 +, writes (20 June 2008):
 Isnt it illegal to be married to more than 1 person at a time in the US? Anyway, if you love her and trust her, time to draw up the divorce papers. Do it with a quickness. It was really lame of her to lie about it, in fact, seems like a very con artist thing to do. Give her the ultimatum: get divorce papers today, or we are through. Sometimes, the reason people dont get divorced is because it cost some kind of dollars, and if there is anything stopping her form getting that divorce (even money) I wouldnt marry her. I'd refuse to share those vows with her AND her husband. Screw that. I'm sorry hon. xx
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