A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:What is going on with my ex? I told him never to call me again because he hurt me beyond belief. He called every day for a week and finally called me at work. I picked up the phone, not knowing his new work number because he moved, and he wanted to know what my deal was. I told him I would call him that night and never did.He now wants to know if I will see him when I go home for vacation. His decision to leave and not want to work things out with me gave me the answer that he didn't want to have a relationship anymore. Do his actions suggest otherwise? Is he just lonely? I love him and am willing to work things out but I'm not going to get my heart broken again. Just when I get stronger....he comes in the picture again.I need advice on:1. What to say if I do decide to see him2. What to say if I decide against going to visit3.How to move on if I am rejected againPlease understand that we talked about getting married, having kids, etc. so this is VERY difficult for me to do as I have invested the past 3 years in this man. Thank you.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (21 June 2008): I think I am going to invite someone else to the wedding---I don't want to deal with all of the questions, looks, stares, etc. It would be too uncomforable. I'll keep you all posted!!
A
reader, anonymous, writes (20 June 2008): What were the reasons you broke up? How long did it take for him to get in touch with you again?
I think you should be careful to make sure that he is not just lonely and truly regrets that he lost you. I haven't been in this situation where he came back, but I have had a guy leave like yours did after talk of getting married, kids, etc just a while back and I realized its because he has major emotional blocks and control issues that are bad for him and me. So, if we were ever to work things out, I would tell him that he would need to seek a therapist until he gets to the root of his issues so that he and I can understand what is going on.
Obviously this is not your situation, but I think that you (and maybe your guy) should figure out why he decided to leave you and then you should figure out how to remove the root of the problem whatever it is. If he is hesitant to do that, then I would stay away because, like you said, what if you get rejected again?
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (20 June 2008): I think you've asked a question like this the day that he called you. Am I right?
He could easily be lonely and be missing the intimacy and affection of being in a serious relationship.
If you do decide to see him then ask him what happened and why he left like that.
If you don't visit then say that he broke yur trust and hurt you and that you don't trust him enough to let him back into your life.
If you are rejected again... Well come to that when we get there.
I understand that is must be very sad. And I can completely sympathise with you. But after three years and things being so serious... For him just to up and leave... I wouldn't trust him.
You deserve better.
I hope you make the right decision for YOU!
Oh and by the way... Did you invite someone else to the wedding?
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