A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:I came home from work last night to find a video tape by the side of the sofa with a note attached from my husband saying "Hope you enjoy this and missing you loads. John* xx".My husband was away on business at the time when this happened.I put the tape in, expecting it to be a romantic message or something like that, but was stunned to see my husband and my best friend's husband having sex together in a hotel room! It was like watching an X-rated filth film. At the end of the video my husband said he was in a relationship with him and they kissed passionately - yeuch!I so hate guy-on-guy action in porn (NOT homosexual people), and this only strengthens my belief.I felt so disgusted once seeing it I went up the bathroom and vomited.I then phoned up my best friend and told her what I'd just seen.She sounded tearful down the phone and said "Thank you for telling me this. Now I know why he's been 'working late'" and then said she was so glad to have a friend like me.I haven't confronted my husband about it as he isn't back yet, but I know when he is back, I want to divorce him.How will this affect the relationship my kids have with my best friend's kids? My kids are best friends with my best friend's kids and spend loads of time together hanging out. I worry if they found out about it their friendship would sour.Where should I go from here?I'm so worried and sick I've started over-eating and drinking (not alcoholic drinks, but tea and coffee).please help me, Andrea
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, DearCupid +, writes (12 June 2009):
 Resident faker, closed.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (12 June 2009): My god, the sense of betrayal you must feel and on so many levels. I really feel for you the emptiness that is going to encroach on your life now. Your husband has played you for a fool all along and arranged conveniently for you to befriend someone who was in an identical relationship for his benefit. Wow, I would feel as though I had entered another universe and didn't know what to do. I guess you are going to feel numb from now on until you get your head around the real scope of this change of affairs. You will have to ask yourself if you still want your husband after he explains his weaknesses and why he came out is such an overt but oblique way. I guess the easiest thing to realize is that you are still friends with the other impacted woman and the kids are totally innocent but that their relationships will be affected in some way. I guess you will be able to commiserate with your friend and you both will be able to discuss what you will do to resolve this chaos that has entered your lives so suddenly. You will need the tape as evidence for your divorce settlement.
Wow, I still can't believe the situation you are going through. It must make you want to wrench your own heart out in anger and feelings of betrayal and realizing what a lie your relationship has been.
I wish you much strength and fortitude in the coming days. Whatever you do seek out a therapist and talk to your clergyman if you have one to help you along. You have suffered through a devastating earthquake and you need as much help a you can get.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (12 June 2009): I am so sorry. This was a horrible thing your husband did. He was very insensitive. Actually, that doesn't sum up the full depth of how horrified I am with him. Words fail me.
Hopefully you and your friend can support each other through this, as you are both in the same predicament. And I agree with what pepper27 said, this shouldn't affect the relationship with the children.
Obviously you will need to speak to your husband about this, and see where things will go from here. Until then, until you get some answers from him, it is difficult for me to know what to advise. But just try and look after yourself in the meantime. And get support from other people if you can, don't feel like you are alone with this. There is always us too, so remember that people care and are thinking of you right now. x
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A
female
reader, pepper27 +, writes (12 June 2009):
 Oh my goodness sweetheart
What a horrible way to inform you of what has been going on!!!!Coward!!!
you have that tape, Not that you would wish to see it again so Id pop it somewere safe for the moment.. (This is just I would have thought there way of letting you both no in one hell of a chicken shit way..) just incase your friend wanted to see it, not that I bloody would!!!!
This is a good friend of yours and you dont no at this moment how she stands with her husband by the sounds of things you two need to have a really good talk.
Dont sit alone wondering go and talk sweetheart, I no this must be hard and it will affect your health so at this moment try and think of you and the children...(I cant believe he did that Im gob smacked) And it takes alot for me to be gob smacked....The children are good friends there is no need to affect there friendship if you talk to your friend and find out just what she is thinking of doing..At the end of the day its the children you want to protect and I no how hard that is when something awfull happens..Hunny if you want to chat at anytime please message me Im only to happy to try and help you PLEASE TAKE CARE OF YOU WITH LOVE AND PRAYERS MANDY XXXXXXXXXXXXX
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