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anonymous
writes: Why does my ex partner not want me to move on with life? He left me and 2 kids for a new partner. Kids refuse to have anything to do with dad's new partner because she used to be a friend of the family. They are happy to see their dad every day, but I can't handle it, as I'm still feeling hurt. Can anyone help?
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reader, anonymous, writes (3 February 2006): You ask why "he" doesn't want you to move on? Frankly, I think it's you that will not permit yourself to move on. I understand your pain because no woman with kids to support and be responsible for, wants to be dumped for a former girlfriend. In this day of easy divorce and lack of commitment, this isn’t a stretch to imagine. Many of the life choices you make from here on in, with respect to your own happiness will be dependent on your character, and how you choose to keep live your life. There is nothing you can do about the ex husband and your former friend. Perhaps, look at it this way..if he did this to you, he could do it to her, eventually. You just haven't grieved and let go, yet. But in order to do that, you have to give yourself time to eventually accept what has happened. If you don't, this pain will fester and you will become a very angry, bitter person. Refusing to stay solid and mature through all this, will not lead you to a healthy, happy future with your kids. You will remain stuck. Regardless of what has happened to you, just make decisons and actions that require something more special about you, than using simple human reactions. Rise above all this, and prove you can get on with life and make a damned good, happier life. Just persevere..it will take time and if it's too tough..get into counseling. There are wonderfully trained people out there to help you with this difficult journey. Be strong. I wish you the best and I really believe, you deserve the best. Take care and good luck
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female
reader, willywombat  +, writes (2 February 2006):
 He is an evil SOB and quite frankly you are well rid of him.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (2 February 2006): You could have written this post about me.I was a former friend of the family, and am now partner to a wonderful man that has left his wife and child. I left my husband and child as well.My XH has taken the high road. He knows that I am happy - he knows the friend well and knows he is a good guy. He knows me well enough to know that we created a great, and I do mean great, kid together. My daughter accepts my boyfriend/partner/intended (we will be married when his divorce is final and this is well-known). We have had dinner at my ex's house with my folks, my ex, my BF and my daughter, all of us getting along great.His STBX is in your shoes. She knows in hindsight that she is the one that drove him away for various reasons over the years, but insists on blaming it on me. SHe says disparaging things against me, my BF, and makes life miserable for her daughter. She was a SAHM, and is now working. Thinks I am a master puppeteer because the man she knew could not possibly be cruel to her.She needs a reality check.I am not going away. Her marriage is over. The man she knew no longer exists. He is a different, better person.
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reader, Your big sis +, writes (10 June 2005):
 Your ex-partner wants you to get on with life as he did. You are dwelling on this past and it's not healthy. Time heals a broken heart. Usually I tell people to give themselves space from their exes, but I won't tell you that because you share two wonderful children with this man. You are going to see him for the rest of your life whether you like it or not. Your children will grow up and have families of their own someday. Your grown children will want the two of you at their family milestones. So you might as well start heading down that road of heart recovery and let him go. It will take time for the hurt to go away. Just wait and see.
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