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anonymous
writes: I met my guy and fell madly in love with him. It was love at first sight, something I never had before. Didn't believe in love at first sight. I'm a sensible 35 yr old. We phone each other every night and can't bear to be apart now. He says such wonderful things to me and is always cuddling me. Trouble is, he doesn't satisfy me in bed at all. He turns me on so much though, that it leaves me feeling so frustrated. I take it personally. I feel so hurt that he leaves me totally unsatisfied. But he tells me that he wants to please me in bed. So what the hell is going on? I am so confused. The thing is when he is not around I masturbate and come loads -just thinking of him drives me crazy. Before I met him, I didn't masturbate because it didn't do anything for me. Thats how much he turns me on. But I long for him to make love to me and give me pleasure. I feel so uptight and upset. I just turn over and go to sleep and ignore him, but I think he knows I am upset with him. I don't want him to please me because he feels under obligation; I want him to want to please me. I don't want to lose him, I love him so much. Trouble is the only thing that brings me to a climax is oral sex. I think if I continue with this relationship I will go mad with frustration.
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reader, anonymous, writes (29 March 2005): To Clive who answered my question...thank you for your advice. As it happens since writing the message on this site, I found out my new guy had a bad time with his ex and she used to put him down in bed all the time. It seems he was too scared to do anything in case he got rejected or put down again. I told him he has already got a head start because he drives me crazy! Since then it has been fantastic in bed! I appreciate your advice and I did follow it - reassuring him all the time and telling him when it felt good and so on....Now there's no stopping him!
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reader, sxymamicuta +, writes (25 March 2005):
My boyfriend acts the same way...I'm 20 yrs old and he is 34 yrs old and I get so excited when I see him, but he's just not interested in me...That's what I think....he does get into it...but I think he's only thinking of his satisfaction. I want him to touch me and kiss me all over and to take his TIME. But lately it hasn't been like that.
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reader, anonymous, writes (25 March 2005): One problem might be that you have very high expectations of your new boyfriend. What do you know about his past girlfriends, how was he treated? Are you his first true love and he wants to make sure that he gets everything right? Is he not wanting to make mistakes which can cause further hurt or frustration? If you are so in love as you say you are, why not explain to him where and how you like to be touched assure him that everything he does is right, but also if there are things you don't like tell him that also. For in a relationship there has to be total honesty and trust. I wish you well for your future.-Clive NY
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