A
female
age
41-50,
*sian
writes:This is a follow up to My husband has impregnated a girl twice during our marriage! http://www.dearcupid.org/question/my-husband-has-impregnated-a-girl-twice-during.htmlThanks to all those who responded to my question i really vaue all your opinions ....I wanted to give you some more details regarding the situation and I do want you all to respond and whomever else has good advice to give cause i am way pass torn...Lets start from the beginning.. I got pregnant in Jan 07 he was the happiest guy in the world.. Then in March i miscarried we were both torn ..I had to have a d and c done to get the remaining matters of conception..after this painful ordeal i just didn't talk about it i then had to go on family planning to get my body back on track as i was having bleeding issues.. We neglected talking about the lost of our child i justed wanted to forget about it.Then it was June that i found out about Person A by then she too had miscarried.. I was hurt and he begged me to stay so wetried to move on but to me it was obviously not the same i could feel tension.. By Sept i found out that Person A was once again pregnant and this time I actually left him we parted .. but this guy kept calling me, and begging me, and started telling me that he can't be happy without me..We kept in contact and by Dec his mother came and we all got together and it so happened that we started seeing each other again and wemoved back in together..During this time person A once again miscarried..He told me when his happened and he told me how he felt i consoled him as i have had the experience of losing a child before. Before person A lost the child this guy made me aware of how he really wanted to have a childhe felt like he wasn't ever going to be a father as he was getting older and he now had lost 3 between me and person A..and a set of twins prior to our relationship.The story goes on as before i then become prgnant had my little angel. this guy who is with me step by step throughout my delivery, named my daughter and act as this the best thing that could ever happen for him tells me that he had a child with person a one month before my daughter was born. I tell him its over cause i've been a fool for too long.. Love doesn't hurt and this is all he and he has been doing to me .People who are close to me are saying what he did is wrong but my daughter should have the oppourtunity to grow with both parents and he now wants me to marry him as he says i'm the love of his life and he doesn't want to lose me,but is don't see how i could ever trust him
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female
reader, Serenity1  +, writes (31 March 2009):
 my husband did the same thing except both of his were with two different women and one he landed twins with...so this is a total of 3 extra kids...add my son and he has 4 total...we are in the process of a divorce...i will never trust him again...i do love him as the father of our son...but i will never be with him again...is your husband willing to let person A go? i know he'll still want to be involved with his child but he doesn't have to be romantically involved with person A...
A
female
reader, kaylagal +, writes (31 March 2009):
 I'm not sure what the Jamaican culture is but in Africa men can have several wives. I see that your husband is living this same culture. The other woman has become his other family,his 2nd family and that's why he has the kids hanging out together as one big HAPPY FAMILY.
I understand you not wanting your child with the other child but I doubt if you can stop that. Remember, he has gone back to this woman and made her pregnant, and he will definitely keep taking your child there too. You should be more worried about his getting her pregnant, AGAIN.
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A
female
reader, asian +, writes (30 March 2009):
asian is verified as being by the original poster of the questionWell do you think i'm wrong to have told my spouse that i don't want this child that he has gotten outide our home near my child.I told him that i know the child is innocent to what he and the child's mother has done but due to there disrepect i wish for my child to be kept away from her until she is old enough to make her own decision on wheter or not she would like to meet her
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A
female
reader, may5th +, writes (28 March 2009):
Move on..
I had a friend who first husband fathered a baby with er best friend who lived next door. She was pregnant at the time. When her husband was at work, she moved all he belongings and left him and never looked back. A few months later, a friend confided that he had feelings for her.
They have been happily married for thirty years.
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A
female
reader, kaylagal +, writes (28 March 2009):
I think he is going back and forth between you and Person A. If you're okay with sharing him, then go ahead. He probably tells Persona A the same stuff he's telling you.
Why would he keep going back to Person A?
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A
female
reader, peachez  +, writes (28 March 2009):
this is a very sensitive issues,yes its every ones dream to live as a family allowing the child(ren) to wake up and see mother and father but is your daughter going tom grow up in a happy/comfortable environment?. how would you no if you partner is not still sleeping with this other person? he has got her pregnant twice after all.i cant give you a specific answer as only you no how much you can bear but if you have any doubts thats he can not satisfy then you should stay by your self until happiness finds you.its a hard road were emotion are envolved but do the best for you then your baby.
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A
female
reader, Darity +, writes (28 March 2009):
 Trust is a very hard thing to regain once lost. I feel for you. You have a baby now and yes it would be great to keep the family together, but what do you feel deep down inside? Will he ever be able to forget about person A? They have had a long on going relationship as well. What if he is saying the same thing to her and don't want to choose between the two of you. It is a very difficult situation and no one can tell you what to do, but you need to follow your heart. Truthfully can you marry someone you don't completly trust?
My heart goes out to you.
Darity
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