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writes: Well, alot of you had ALOT of negitive feed back with my first question, but I was willing to give it another try. for those of you who didnt read my first question, I have been involved with my older married boss for 7 months now. He just left his wife and wants to go public with our relationsip. How do I tell my parents Im dating him? Do I let them know it has been going on for a while or should I say with just started dating? Do I tell them he was 3 yr old twin boys or should I let that come out later?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (27 September 2009): i am also curious whether "Totally in love" is still in her relationship with this man and how it is progressing.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (24 September 2009): Where do you wont to go with this, what are you looking to get out of this? if it is just a good time and have sex, keep it as it is. And have fun. if you are looking on hooking up stop and think where you got him and who is next.
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reader, anonymous, writes (18 September 2009): I'm just writing to see if you can provide a follow up Ms Totally in Love??? Still in love? How's "coming out" been for you all? Would be interested to know the goods and bads.
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female
reader, concered_sister  +, writes (15 March 2009):
Wow, I just read all of your post from both questions. I must say I agree and disagree with alot of the comments.Yes, alot of people have said some very harsh comments to you, but in your situation you must realize that people arent going to pat you on the back and say great job.FIrst: I dont blame you for the affair, I blame your boss. Im my opinion he seduced you. Your young and I am sure he knew excatly what to say to "sweet talk" his way into your pants. I dont think you are "evil" or a bad person, Just a innocent YOUNG girl who has let her emotions take over her judgement.Secondly, as for your dirty talk comment I agree ,you were just answering a simply question... what the two of you do or say in bed is between you and him.Third: I must say I normally would think that a married man sleeping with such a young girl was doing it for sex and to boost his ego. But if he has really left his wife maybe he does have feelings for you. If he is willing to end his marriage then there must be something between the both of you. Only you know the real him and if you are truely happy then congrats, but dont let your guard down. He has cheated once ,with a women who he has a history with so be careful.As for telling your parents. Be up front and open. Tell them you are seeing your boss, I'm not sure if I would tell them it started as an affair. But I would tell them he is recently separted form is wife and is a father. If you two are truely happy together they will be happy for you.You need to remember that his ex wife will always be in his life and two children are alot of work. This relationship may not be all fun and exciting like you dreamed, it will take alot of effort to make it work.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (15 March 2009): Dear Totally in love..........you are now acting all wounded. I am one of the people that gave you negative comments. Just to be fair to you I went and re read your initial comments, specifically the one dated 12th March.I believe that you are full of contradictions. For example on the 12th you posted:"..........we have been on vacations together ( and yes I give him ahard time about his wife ). Maybe I am just hopeful but I do believe he will leave her. I actually did talk to him tonight about it and told him if it didnt happen soon then we couldnt see each other any longer..."Yes in the post of 15 March you say "..And never once asked him to choose between me or is family I told him I couldnt continue our relationship because he was married. He chose to end his married not me....." So now he is the bad guy in choosing to end his marriage. Yes you gave him an ultimatum, it was a case of me or the wife, and he chose you. Happy? I am sorry that you feel that we were bashing you, you just choose not to accept negative comments. As for the advice you got, i believe there has been plenty of advice given both positive and negative, you choose to only read what you want to. I am sorry you cannot handle the criticism. But i believe tha you constantly blame others eg. the wife, now him for ending things with her, and certainly (but by no means lastly) US, the people that have commented.This forum is an EXCELLENT FORUM, you just bashed it yourself. Please re read all your entries. You were caught with contradictions and now you are playing the blame game. Please GROW UP, and account for your actions. Remember actions have consequences. I hope and pray your life turns out the way you planned.
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reader, anonymous, writes (15 March 2009): I haven't read the original posts - but in answer to the question you've asked here I would say -
think about how you are going to 'explain' the twins to your folks IF this "relationship" of yours continues and goes well - if you don't mention them now?
I am assuming you will now be able to go out in public with this guy - and maybe even introduce him to people in your life - like your parents??....won't that be novel?
Why don;t you just be honest from here on in - if you can manage it. You don;t really need to tell them you've been a homewrecker - just tell them you're seeing someone, he's recently seperated from his wife/c'rn - that's all they need to know.
I hope you've given some thought to what 'winning' means for you - the thing is this man's wife and kids will never be out of your life - you are now going to have to 'share' time with him and his kids - won't that be fun for you guys? You will now have to face all the REAL stuff, the responsibilities, the everyday crap...I wonder if you'll be as happy as you imagined? I wonder if you'll ever feel quite secure in the relationship - given you already know what an excellent liar he can be? I wonder if he will??
Keep us posted - I'd be interested in knowing how a relationship conceived in deceit and betrayal goes.
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reader, anonymous, writes (15 March 2009): I am not going to be harsh but i am going to be honest. a married man never leaves his wife, the wife is usually the one to end things when she find out the truth, now if you believe this guy, then watch him closely and look at his patterns, if he did it to her he may as well do it to you and then maybe he won't . as far as telling your parents you should tell them and let them meet him, it is not your fault that this man cheated on his wife. women do get caught up in these situations that are hard to get out of. because we are vulnerable and are emotional and loving creatures. if he truly left his wife for you, then good luck, they obviously was having problems before you came along.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (14 March 2009): I think too many people are quick to judge you. I am currently under a similar situation but reverse. He must love you very much not only to risk his job but also his family life. It is obvious that if he was happy with his current wife he would have stayed with her and sons. It will be hard at first but his sons will be happier in the long term. Afterall how many children have been hurt living in a house with no love between the parents.
I would tell your parents the story as all things come out eventually.
Hope it all works out and Good Luck
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reader, anonymous, writes (14 March 2009): Well im not gonna be rude like all the other people but if he cheated on his wife/the mother of his kids what makes you think he's not gonna do the same to you? And you should never hide anything like that to your parents. Lies just cause problems. Tell them the whole truth. About the kids and about how long you have been seeing this man. For everyone else who has said horrible things to this girl thats not right. Its not her fault that a guy cheated on his wife with her. So give the girl a break. Geez!!!
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (14 March 2009): You were deceitful in your affair with your married lover, you now want to carry these lies into your relationship with your parents. Surely they deserve some respect and should know the truth. You seem to be the kind of person that will lie just so that she looks good. After all you are a master at this, aren't you. How do you live with yourself? Do you look at yourself in the mirror/ Do you like what you see? You are such a cold hearted person. Lies concerning your illicit affair is one thing, lies to the parents to cover up the fact that you were sleeping with your very married father of 2, is another thing. Lies, lies and more lies. Is this the way you conduct yourself. Your married lover better becareful. When you finish with him he will be begging for your mercy. Why? You have a tendency to want things your way. You get things your way no matter who you hurt. As long as you come our tops.
"Do I tell them he was 3 yr old twin boys or should I let that come out later?"
You said in an earlier post that you accept the fact that he has 2 boys. You now want to deny that they exist. Why? Becuase you know what would be thought of you. You are the kind of person who will lie just to look good. (I said that earlier). LIES AND DECEIT IS THE NORM FOR YOU. YOU WILL NOT CHANGE. The wheel will turn, and i hope soon enough.
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reader, anonymous, writes (14 March 2009): Married men and young women DO NOT mix. (Sorry for writing in capitals there, but I can't get bold text on here!)
The kids will resent you for breaking up the family. The man doesn't have much integrity either.
I'm 23 too, and would date an older woman, but not one that old.
Break it off, and find someone who does care for you; without stereotyping, a majority are usually in it just for the sexual side, not the actual relationship.
Nothing good can or will come out of this, so don't gamble with this relationship.
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female
reader, tired82 +, writes (14 March 2009):
 If this man is leaving his wife and kids for you... I wish you good luck cause once he's bored with you he's bound to do it to you too... Good luck. Your parents will probably not accept him for what he did.
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female
reader, kaylagal +, writes (14 March 2009):
 Are you going to keep editing your story until you hear what you want? And if I were you, I wouldn't even tell my parents coz that man is not leaving his family, he's just telling you that so you can keep the SEX and trash talk coming.
I'm not bashing you but seriously think abot what you're doing. You're 23yrs old and have your whole life ahead of you. There is a special man out there for you. A man who will love you and be true to you. But you have to start by letting go of someone else's man. You're 23, what could you possibly want from an man old enough to be your daddy. Find someone your own age, a man you can both have a 1st marriage and child together.
You have your whole life ahead of you, LEAVE this man alone. Pliz.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (14 March 2009): shame on you - yes please tell the readers all about your affair with this married man ( as per your other post). I see that you have also responded to the lady whose man wants her to talk dirty to her : A female reader, totally_in_love +, writes (12 March 2009):My guy loves when I say things like: "see how wet YOU make me" "let me feel that big dick inside me" "make me feel you cum" I am assuming you are referring to your 42 year old married boss here. Totally in love, you did not worry about breaking up that man’s marriage, you say it was not all about sex but wow, your post of 12 March reads differently. Why worry about your parents? You will continue to do what you want to anyway. Your first post started on 9 March, perhaps the readers need to read this first before responding. I am certain they will get greater insight into you. I believe that you just want to waste our time but asking silly questions. You have now edited your story for us to assist you with. You are disrespecting us and this forum. It shows that you do not care/respect anyone. The people that respond here genuinely try to help people with genuine concerns/issues/problems. The way i see this, by you editing your information, and expecting "sympathetic" assistance with your "problem", you have shown a streak of underhandedness. Is this how you go about your private life- oh yes, i forgot, you do - you are sleeping with your married boss, he has 2 kids, you gave him an ultimatum, you blamed his wife. I think you just want to GLOAT that you have him therefore your new edited version. You want us to know that your married man chose you, and that you have won. My dear , you are sick!!!!!!!! You are childish, please DO NOT insult us. I am so angry right now!!!!!!!!
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reader, anonymous, writes (14 March 2009): It's negative feedback coz you don't want to hear the truth. I read and responded twice to your original question. It appears you let out a lot of details for new audience. Maybe include your age, his age, and how long his been married.
Tell your parents everything, tell them about the kids too. You are proud of your new man, why hide or leave out some info.
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