A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I have been with my husband for 16 years and we have been married for 6 years, we have 2 children.Last week I was looking on his e-mail and found e-mails from him to my best friend. These went on for an afternoon and were very flirty. I have spoken to my husband about them, he insits they were a joke. I have briefly spoken to my best friend about it but she just said everybody flirts. Me and my husband have spoken at great length about it and he now say's he knows why I would be hurt but it wasn't meant in the way I am taking it.Do I now just forget it and carry on as normal, I'm not sure if I should speak to my best friend about it or if her reaction to me will be that my husband was flirting with her and what can she do? Not sure what to do really.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (3 July 2008): I am a man who has been in the same situation and it never lead to anything even though my wife was'nt suspicious.
Don't take it too seriously unless you have any reason to distrust either one of them.Men are attracted to lots of woman and may act on this by flirting with them and it's more exciting if it's his spouses best freind, but it does'nt mean that your husband or best freind intend on doing anything more than that.
A
female
reader, misfitschik66  +, writes (9 June 2008):
 I am not married myself but ill try to do my best to help you!! i would confront my best friend about it again and say "its really bothering me that you would even consider flirting with my husband in the first place, you are suppose to be my best friend" second i would go on the same lines with your husband but reversing it and saying "your my husband why did it have to be my best friend" there has to be an explanation explaining why she chose YOUR husband and why he chose YOUR best friend third if she has a husband i would let him in on it NOT for revenge but to just let him on whats going on in case there is a huge blow out and he is in the middle and not understanding whats going on just say " my husband and your girlfriend/wife" were flirting and i just thought you might want to know because its bothering me and my husband and i are talking about what we can do to fix this little situation" because you have children i would advise you keep this quiet and not bicker in front of them about this it might scare them and give them wrong idea's thinking you two might divorse which is NOT what im saying will happen... Im just trying to help make things better for your relationship in a way that wont lead to that dont make it a war do it all in a mature fashion and let them both know you are uncomfortable with them talking like that to eachother and you wish for them to stop
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A
female
reader, eyeswideopen  +, writes (9 June 2008):
 Let things settle down but keep your eyes on both of them. I think your best friend should know that not everybody flirts. Both of them were out of line doing this. What starts out as harmless flirtation can often get out of hand. We see that here with many posts. Remember my name.
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A
female
reader, mima  +, writes (9 June 2008):
 oops! taht's a sad story. their must be something fishy about it. since he denied it, then you have no cause to blame him. it could be a joke as he had said. there is no need fighting over what could break your marriage.you shud talk to your friend but politely so she doesn't end up catching a fight with you. God help you.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (9 June 2008): I would confront your friend about how you feel about her flirtacious nature. It is true that everyone flirts, but flirting may be taken too far. Maybe not to the point of infidelity, but to a point of an insecurity in your relationship with your husband and your friend.
Check his e-mails and if this persists, then it's probably time to judge both parties involved.
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