A
female
age
41-50,
*oney76
writes: okay so there is this guy I work with and I am starting to like him never liked him at first but he has pretty much swept me off my feet in a sence.I never had a crush on him at first but he was so sweet to me and got me thinking a lil.He would go out of his way to help me with something at work even if I didn't ask I never ask for his help he just stops what he is doing and helps me. He also smiles when he sees me his face seems to light up and flirts gives googly eyes lol and I catch him staring at me quite a bit. He ask me to go with him and his friends to the bar one night after work.I told him maybe nextime .He said it would be a better night for him if I went then he said dont 4get about me the next time . But this whole thing gets a lil crazy because he does all this stuff but then some days he walks by me looks me in the face and doesn't even say hello SMH? I am now confused does he like me for real or is he player and all that sweet stuff he does is total fake ?? Oh I always wait for him to say hi first cause I was told that is how it should be if you like a guy . who knows maybe he just a nice guy and I just want to like me so I take things too serously Then I barley know him so why would his night at the bar be so much better with me when his friends are already there ??This situation is driving me insane because if he dont like me thats fine I just want to move on or if likes me maybe he should ask me out again.One more thing on one of the nights he was kinda ignoring me he flirted with some other girl and I caught him looking at me out of the corner of his eye .was this to say hey I dont like you like that ?or was it that he does like me and wants to make me jealous ?
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at work, crush, flirt, I work with, jealous, move on, player Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (14 December 2012): Sounds like he likes you. Flirting with another girl but looking at the same time only means that he was thinking of you as he was talking to her. And him ignoring you that one time? Well to me that means he doesn't want to show he's interested. And having you there with his mates present, means as a group there isn't a lot of pressure on the both of you, too chat.
Echoing what the other posters have said, dating someone from the work place is not normally recommended. I read a study once tho that suggested a lot of romances do start in the office. I really don't think it's a good idea, personally.
A
female
reader, honey76 +, writes (29 September 2012):
honey76 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you for you help Kenny :)
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male
reader, Diligence +, writes (28 September 2012):
 I don't know the work you do or how it is that he helps you with your work, but this is a slippery slope. If someone else notices that he helps you and not others he could be called out for not getting his work done or favoring you.
Supervisors & managers frown on favoritism in the workplace, (though some do it themselves!) Generally speaking, workplace relationships are a bad idea. If this guy was a boss and you an hourly worker (or vice versa), it could get you or him fired or written up for the very least being a distraction in the workplace. Human resources will likely get involved in some aspect. They like to do that. For them some of this comes down to legal issues with the company. Many have faced lawsuits over little things like this turning into big things like on the job harassment! You end up suing the company due to his relentlessness...(as a bad example.) A rule I remember from an earlier harassment prevention class was that an employee is allowed to ask a person out ONCE. If that person refused the offer then the person asking was not allowed to ask again or it is considered harassment. He may or may not know this rule?
If you two are serious enough to have any kind of relationship, maybe you should talk away from the workplace. If not, and you want to keep your job, I suggest you may want to consider ending it.
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male
reader, kenny  +, writes (28 September 2012):
 You have got to be very careful when starting anything of a romantic nature with someone that you work with. While things may be all rosy and nice in the beginning, if things took a downturn then you have still got to come to work everyday and see that person which can be quite arkward, not only for the two of you but for colleagues too.
It sounds like he does like you, its hard to say if he is a player or not. Maybe after you declined the offer to go out with him and his mates he took that as a knockback, which maybe is why he was somewhat offish passing you. And yes sounds like he was trying to make you jealous, looking at you out the corner of his eye, he knew full well you were looking and he was making sure.
I would say lay low for a while and let things blow over, just be cool and let him see your happy and getting on with your life, and see what materialises in a couple of weeks.
good luck
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