A
female
age
51-59,
*ngelina73
writes:I met this guy online on an online dating site. After writing to each other for two days, we decided to meet. I really like him and we went on our fifth date last weekend. It has been four weeks since we started meeting each other. He has never held my hand or kissed me passionately, so we are doing things together just like friends normally do. He sees me once to twice a week. We are both busy at work and going to gym after work. We don't go to the same gym. I realized that he still has his online profile though i removed mine. I also know he checks it daily a few times a day. He does text me everyday. He told me he does get messages but most of those ladies are not what he wants and I am the only one he is currently seeing. Yet he is still checking his profile for messages everyday!It has been five dates and his profile is still active. He is still checking it daily. My question is should I reject future dates with him, is this relationship ever going to the next level of being exclusive?Should I move on and not go out with him anymore when he text me again, even though I do enjoy it because we share some common interest.
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female
reader, Angelina73 +, writes (22 August 2013):
Angelina73 is verified as being by the original poster of the question Thanks highmaintenance. I will read it :)
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reader, anonymous, writes (15 August 2013): hey just wanna update you regarding my promise. i have an article about have (some nerve from doormat be that dream girl)its gonna be available on the article section maybe 5 hours from now. i just submitted it. hopefully you find time to read it. thank you
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reader, anonymous, writes (14 August 2013): yw. I told you he is just playing with your feelings. you inspired me to write about rules in dating. i will write one for you tomorrow.
definitely, i will keep you posted so that you can read it.
good luck
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female
reader, Angelina73 +, writes (14 August 2013):
Angelina73 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHe returned from his vacation in Indonesia and did not text me to say he is back. When I text to ask him, "you are back?", he replied "I think so..."
His profile is still on. With such a disinterested approach and answer , I have decided to move on. I am no longer keen on someone who will only be a waste of my time and energy. He does not know what is good for him, that is too bad for him.
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female
reader, Angelina73 +, writes (4 August 2013):
Angelina73 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you highmaintenance for the advice.it is consistent with what others around me are saying. i will reduce my outings with him and just let it go. thanks!
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reader, anonymous, writes (31 July 2013): My suggestion for you is just ask yourself the ff. questions.
1. Is this guy worth my time?
I am constantly in a wonderland place with him.
(why?) We are dating but his dating website is still active.
2. its been a while since I am dating him and his not asking me to be his gf, yet?
What level are we? You should Know the answer.
How to know When a guy is into you:
1. No wonderland moments.
Meaning, he will make it clear to you, that he wants you and he will show it by calling and texting you everyday, no misses.
2. he would spend most of his times for you. You don't have to beg for it. you will never find yourself initiating to hang out with him.
3. He will never give you asshole excuses.
Remember, excuses is a sign of rejection. its only valid if his in comma.
4. He will ask you to be his gf.
Why? Men are selfish. When they want something so bad, they will definitely own it. Since his not asking you, his not just into you. Why his dating you? because he enjoys your company. so as the other women on the side that's why his dating profile is active.
5. When a guy is into you, you never have to ask. You will be busy hanging out with him, talking to him and adored by him, most of your time.
darling, I sincerely think, you have to give up this guy.
I think his just causing you emotional stress. He ain't worth it. I'm sure there would be another guy who will not give you a headache and wonder moments.
Patiently wait for the right guy. his just out there. but its definitely NOT the guy your dating.
Good luck.
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female
reader, Angelina73 +, writes (31 July 2013):
Angelina73 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionok, I asked. He was married and got divorced in 2009. No kids. He said his ex wife was a career woman and did not want kids. He had no objection since he is pro choice. I asked why they split then. He said she was going to the clubs and pubs too often and he was not into that. She was drinking a lot. I notice he does not go to clubs and pubs often, just like me. He is also not into binge drinking but spend his time in the gym like me. Hence, I personally think we might work out. But his profile is still online and he is still checking. I saw that he browsed my profile once after I put it up again. He never asked me why I had done so.We are coming to the second month of dating now. Still, he has not asked me to be exclusive so my profile is still up..:)
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reader, anonymous, writes (31 July 2013): I did the same thing just recently. I was on a dating site for about 4 months and really liked this guy but nothing is
happening and I chat with my pen pals. I went back on after being off for 5 days. The guy I like has my phone number in his inbox just in case. But if he wanted to meet me and date he would have done it by now. I asked him for his and he said he was getting a new one but every time we chatted I missed the opportunity to bring it up.(my mistake) I thought if I went off the site he would notice and try to contact me. When I checked who viewed my profile he was there along with 4 other guys. I remember the original order it was in before I closed out the account. Not that it means anything because he is still on there looking. I may go off the site again for a while to take another break.
I don't want to be online when he is online so I usually
check early in the morning then I just check my messages
and log off. Online dating can be frustrating and it often
feels like a competition. I always tell guys that I am divorced and have no kids. They don't pry or ask anything.
You should ask this guy there is no harm in it.
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female
reader, Brokenv  +, writes (20 July 2013):
I would ask him....I think it is important. Not sure he would be honest enough at this stage of the game. If I was at date 5 the person I was with would certainly hear about my kids. They are my life. I love to talk about them. But I think it is important not to have kids dominate the conversations.
So glad you put your site back up. You need to relax and enjoy what just might come your way!
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female
reader, Angelina73 +, writes (19 July 2013):
Angelina73 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks all for the advice. I have put my profile back up with some changes to it. Since he has not removed his, I agree I should not remove mine. He has not asked me to take mine off. At the moment, I realized he is communicating less. With a daily text but that is about it. When I went out on dates with him, I found him to be kinda quiet, reserved, and needs me to ask questions before he would open up. I am not sure if this means he has a lot to hide or is simply reserved. Should that bother me?He revealed to me that he was divorced in 2009. I did not ask why. I thought it might be inappropriate to ask him why he is divorced. Would that question be relevant and appropriate at this stage?I also did not ask him if he has any kids with his ex-wife.
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female
reader, Brokenv +, writes (9 July 2013):
Why did you remove your site? Did you think that you were dating and serious?
Put your site back up. You need to get out there with the rest of the fish. Yes, you may really like this guy but what if he doesn't feel the same. I would have concerns if he was looking at the on line site still. You are moving too fast.
Get out there and enjoy your life!
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reader, anonymous, writes (8 July 2013): That's a tough one. If you like him, I'd give it a little more time. If he still hasn't deleted his profile, I'd put yours back on. If he asks why tell him you don't want to get too emotionally attached to someone who is still actively looking for other women to date.
If he likes you, he'll take his off and ask that you do the same.
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female
reader, Caring Aunty A  +, writes (8 July 2013):
 (This seems to be the latest question on DC.)After 1 month or 2 years some guys still have their profile active and check messages… But what do you make of a guy you just met who keeps his profile active?For me; he’s still shopping around and in the meanwhile he’s half focused on you; since “most of those ladies are not what he wants…” He’s keeping his options open at present. Yet so far he seems polite, tells you he gets messages and shows some interest you, so enjoy his company :) Unless you want to rush into this and find yourself disappointed, you are best to relax and have your options open also, than to pin all your hopes on this one person.Without getting too far ahead of yourself, try to remember you are in the dating phase of discovering things about each other – share common interest; which does not mean being exclusive is anywhere near the horizon until a few more months of dating has taken place. Take Care – CAA
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reader, anonymous, writes (8 July 2013): My darling you met the guy online. What can you expect?
Of course he is addicted to net. Always will look for adventure in meeting someone from net.
The fact that his not yet deleting his profile it only means that his still looking out for someone else. Because if his serious about you, he will be doing the same thing your doing for him, because you felt good about him and you maybe getting serious in the future.
My suggestion, you should also do the same thing his doing, I mean, you should have not deleted your profile. Be open for meeting up a lot better guys who will not disappoint you.
But don't dump him. Just don't get serious about him. If his playing with your feelings, Play with his too.
All is fair, in Love and War.
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reader, anonymous, writes (8 July 2013): My darling you met the guy online. What can you expect?
Of course he is addicted to net. Always will look for adventure in meeting someone from net.
The fact that his not yet deleting his profile it only means that his still looking out for someone else. Because if his serious about you, he will be doing the same thing your doing for him, because you felt good about him and you maybe getting serious in the future.
My suggestion, you should also do the same thing his doing, I mean, you should have not deleted your profile. Be open for meeting up a lot better guys who will not disappoint you.
But don't dump him. Just don't get serious about him. If his playing with your feelings, Play with his too.
All is fair, in Love and War.
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A
female
reader, YouWish  +, writes (8 July 2013):
 You've only been dating for a month? Slow down just a little bit here. So far, he's not under any obligation to become exclusive, and you two aren't yet having sex, so there is no unspoken exclusivity either.
In an online relationship that goes "live", the timeline is a bit slower than getting with a co-worker or a longtime friend. If it were me, I'd keep dating casually for another month and then see where you're at. Don't bring sex into it without exclusivity, that's for sure.
If, let's say, three months have passed, then it's worth it to request exclusivity, meaning telling him "I've really grown to like you in the past three months. What do you think about us no longer seeing other people?".
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