A
female
age
30-35,
*ymy
writes:I know this is a question that has come up a lot, though thought it would be worth putting things in my own terms exactly so I can make things clear as possible...I'm 18 and met this guy about 2 months ago, he's 25 and not a virgin. We live a few hours from each other so have only been able to go on two dates so far, though the third is coming up in the next few days (I'm staying overnight at his) and he has insinuated on several occasions that he's going to ask me out properly.I'm not sexually experienced at all, I've only had 2 boyfriends before (both of them only lasted less than 2 months) though I have never been attracted to someone as fiercely as this before. We're very open with each other, I told him I was a virgin on our second date and he didn't have a problem with it. His first time was when he was 20.We've kept in touch mainly over msn and phone and do talk dirty to each other quite often. I have said to him that I really like him but am not ready to sleep with him and he respects that. My past experience of guys has taught me to pick out the liars and I really do feel something different about him.Long post...sorry!Basically, my question is what can I do to make this relationship work? He has said that he won't force anything on this next date, or any other time, but I deeply attracted to him and he feels the same way about me. I've offered to give him a massage back at his and told him that I like having my breasts stroked, and he's spoken about how he wants to hold me close, kiss my neck and give me my first orgasm...My main worry about first time sex is that I'll be crap- I don't know the moves or positions and have never orgasmed. I don't plan to lose my virginity this weekend, but can imagine myself losing it to him if we are together long enough. Any advice would be appreciated, thanks.
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, megan1111  +, writes (19 January 2009):
You made my day.
Good luck.
A
female
reader, Mymy +, writes (18 January 2009):
Mymy is verified as being by the original poster of the question Thanks for both of your advice, they helped me a lot. I discussed these concerns with friends and also the guy in question and he was really sympathetic, so the night didn't result in sex but we had great fun still! We're now going out as girlfriend and boyfriend so hopefully things will develop nicely :)
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A
female
reader, megan1111 +, writes (16 January 2009):
Sometimes, we get so caught up is what we think is love only to discover it was not what we thought. Sex, tends to divert the focus from what’s really important in a new relationship – “what each person truly feels about the other.” Your virginity is special and a gift you can only give once.
If I could do it again, I would wait until I was married. The first time is very uncomfortable and can be painful no matter how gentle he is. Although he may bring you to your first orgasm, it sure won’t be when it pushes his penis in you the FIRST time; this something all experienced women can guarantee. Once you have sex, it begins to dominate the relationship. If you wait until you’re married or least until you know this guy for a substantial period, then you’ll be better prepared to make a decision if he is truly worthy of your gift. Then you can relax and concentrate on what you’re feeling sexually and how you want to feel. Do you not know that you are going to be sore afterwards and he will be ready to go again in less than an hour – something to ponder. If you’re horny, masturbate. If he’s horny, tell him to masturbate because soon after you start to have sex, he (because he is experienced) is going to want to put some variety in it (positions, different acts, ect.) and you have to be comfortable.
If you only see this guy on the weekends or on dates, eventually you’re going to feel used as sex is usually going to be the culmination of a good evening. Your first is always special and someone you are attached to. You’re not his first, so be careful. If the relationship does not work out, your fall will be greater and your recovery will be longer than if you had not rushed into sex so quickly. Talk to more women, I think the “honeymoon period” starts when you first have decide to have sex with guy because you start a boulder rolling down a hill that’s hard to stop.
At least wait long enough to make sure you are the only one and where the relationship is going. Remember, sex changes everything – you want to make sure it changes it for the better.
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