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age
30-35,
anonymous
writes: I'm 19 and last night I found out I was pregnant. I took a pregnancy test after having cramps and sore breasts pretty much constantly for around a fortnight. My periods have been slightly irregular for around the last four months so I'm not entirely sure how far gone I am.Basically, I'm terrified. I'm scared that as I get bigger people in the street will judge me as I look a bit younger than I actually am. I'm scared of telling my mum and my partner's mum as they both feel that having a baby young is 'a waste of a life'. I will be 20 when the baby is born and I'm not if that's too young or not... What are people's opinions on that?My partner and I have been together for 2 years and this isn't a disaster for us but has certainly come at a difficult time. We have moved into a new home in the last few days and money is tight at the moment.I'm so scared of everything that lies ahead of me. Getting bigger, people in the street, money problems, telling my mum, the pain... Everything. If it's relavant, this pregnancy was unplanned, I was on the pill (no missed pills or sickness or anything) and we will be definately be keeping the baby. I need some kind words. Thanks and sorry this was so long.
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female
reader, kissxmexagainx  +, writes (15 April 2009):
 I'm 18 && 6 months pregnant. Are you in the US? because if you are you can most likely get medicaid and WIC, which will provide food for you I believe until the baby is 6 months old, or a year if you breastfeed. It will cover your child until he/she's 5. And trust me, garage sales always have fairly new baby things. You may want to get all new things, but trust me the baby will out grow them before you know it. So don't go crazy spending money. oh, && when you start showing, stay away from sales people in stores!! they will try to convince you that you absolutely HAVE to have the newest most expensive baby products. don't listen to them. you'll be fine.
You'll still worry a bit. all mothers do. just relax, && don't stress.
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reader, anonymous, writes (15 April 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks, you have no idea how much this is helping me relax :)
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female
reader, shnookims  +, writes (15 April 2009):
 It probably won't sink in for him completely until he feels that baby move from the outside. That's only when my fiance finally felt it was real. But even holding that tiny human in your arms just after you've given birth feels so surreal... I can't tell you anything about the benefits as I'm not even on your continent...You're both working, that's another good thing. It's impossible not to worry at all but try not to stress as it will put pressure on you and the baby. If you got any more questions I'd be more than happy to tell you what I know and how we did it. Just know that you're not alone.
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reader, anonymous, writes (15 April 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks so much for your responses. They all really helped me calm down a little. The dad did the test with me last night but he's gone to work today so I'm here all alone. I don't think it's really sunk in for him yet as he had to spend most of the night comforting me.To answer your questions, we both work, him full time and me part time. We're on a fairly low income and have both been quite worried about the economy as we both work in retail. It's comforting to know that there will be financial help for us though as we're not really clued-up on benefits and stuff.I feel like I'm worrying about everthing :(
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female
reader, shnookims +, writes (15 April 2009):
I was 18 when I fell pregnant so I can relate... I moved in with my boyfriend, who is now my fiance and we live comfortably in a flat attached to his uncles house with our beautiful 10 month old daughter. So don't worry. Things have a way of working out. Go for a check up to see how far you are and that you and baby are both doing well. It's a big comfort. You need to tell his mother and your own. So what if they think it's a waste of life? It's your life and not theirs. My bf and I thought my mom would take it wonderfully and my dad would freak out. Turns out it was the complete opposite but don't worry. They can either choose to accept it and be a part of your pregnancy and your babies life or they can just not be included. I bet they'll want to be included. I was 19 when my daughter was born. It's not that young but it's still young. People look sometimes,mostly if I went to school with them because they know my age. But so what? I just look back and smile and then look at my daughter and tickle her or something. Just to let them see I am happy with every decision I have ever made in my life, whereas the majority of them don't know where they're going. It's good that you've already got a home. Don't stress about money. It does get hard at times but there are a lot of good responses to that, from the other people who have answered you. Try breastfeed for as long as possible. It's a lot cheaper and healthier. As it's your first pregnancy I'm sure you will have a baby shower. That helps a lot too. I had a rather large one and never had to buy a single thing for my daughter until she was 3 months old. Again, I know it's hard but telling your mom will help a lot if she's willing to help you. She will give you advice as she's been through it before too. So will your boyfriends mom. Just be prepared though, because of your age the people around you tend to be pushy about the way you do things. I have it with every adult I know... They tell me when my daughter's cold, how I should soothe her when she cries, what I should be feeding her, etc.i just tell them that she's still alive after 10 months so I must be doing something righta and crry on doing thiongs MY WAY! Try not to stress about the pain of giving birth. I was totally freaked out but I did it, completely naturally, without an epidural. And I would do it again. After the head came out, it was the most amazing feeling of accomlpishment. And very little pain, especially compared to the woman next to me who had just had a caesar.Try not to stress and have fun. By the sounds of things, you're going to be a great mom!
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female
reader, Country Woman  +, writes (15 April 2009):
 Sweetheart, it seems like you are your partner have accepted the fact that you are pregnant and like you say 'you are definitely going to keep the baby'.
It has happened despite the pill so it isn't like you have deliberately gone out to get pregnant at such an early age.
You have a new home and that is great, money will always be tight as it is different to living at home and bills are always there, yes children cost money to feed, clothing, nappies etc. If you are your bf are on a low income then you may well get extra tax credits so look into that, you will also get maternity money, are you both working? You will also receive child allowance which I believe has just gone up to £80 a month, it sounds a fair bit but nappies will cost. If you have any friends or family who have had a baby then clothes will come your way and any other items once people know you are pregnant, it is amazing as you get offers from people you never thought would.
There is also a website called www.freecycle.org and people give and receive all manner of things and there is normally a group near to where you live, so highchairs, cots etc are something that people trade and everything is FREE, sometimes you have to donate something first but it could be some old paving slabs in your mum's garden etc so look into that.
Get yourself to the doctor and confirm the pregnancy once and for all, take a urine sample and they will get you along for a scan to tell exactly when you are due.
Yes it is always scary whether planned or not as you are going through something you have never done before, women have been having babies for centuries and remember before today, there was no level of pain relief so believe me you will get through it and the first time you hold your baby you will know it was all worth it.
Yes you are young but allow family and friends to get involved as you will need their help and guidance. Don't get too stressed as you need to stay calm and relaxed, get plenty of rest and also get your feet up at least once a day as your body is changing and so are your hormones.
Believe me rest now as it all changes once the baby arrives and they are dependant on you so don't expect too much of yourself. See what amount of time and money you can get if you are working as well.
People in the street are nobodies so don't stress over them, yes your belly will grow but it is worth it.
Keep me posted OK, tell your mum's together and they will see how united you are about this baby. To abort a pregnancy is a very emotional rollercoaster so they cannot demand that you go down that route, to give your baby up for adoption is also a very hard route to take. No one can make you do anything you don't want to do, it is your body and only you and your bf can make the decision of what to do. You seem as though that has been made so I'm afraid you have to say SOD it to everyone else. You may be amazed at how your mum's will come round and also the help and advice they may give you.
Confirm how far gone you are first though in my opinion with your GP.
BFN
Country Woman
x
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female
reader, Emilysanswers +, writes (15 April 2009):
Sorry to hear you are stuck in this situation, but 19 and 20 is really not THAT young that you'd be getting stared at in the street. You're not exactly in school uniform!
Read some of the posts on here from pregnant 14 year olds. Now they are the ones who will have problems!
First thing, head to the doctor and get it confirmed and she will be able to help you work out the practical details.
As for your mum and his mum, well you just have to take a deep breath and tell them. They will have lots of "Well how are you going to....??" questions, so make sure you have talked it all through with your boyfriend first so you know the answers and don't have to get in arguments.
Are you going to get married?
Will you give up work?
How will you pay the bills?
Will you have to move house?
Do you know what you are doing with a baby?
Who's name will it take?
Sit down and figure it all out and then just go and tell them together.
I can understand that they wanted you to have a career and travel and conquer the world rather than settling down and having 15 kids, but you are old enough now that you can cope.
The economy is in a bad way at the moment so I hope your jobs stay secure for a while, but just keep working and saving and figure out what you can do.
You and your boyfriend are a team and together you will manage this fine!
Good Luck!! xx
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