A
female
age
36-40,
*irsty_123us
writes:Well i have a little problem.You know that first love you have when your younger and never forget well mine was when i was 15-16 we finished because he moved somewhere else with his parents and decided it wouldnt work... after we split up we had a hard time argued alot and broke contact... then 2 weeks later we were best friends again and this went on for ages!i broke contact but kept his email address and still recieved the odd email from him.A year later i met someone abroad, fell in love quite fast and moved there. well he is the best boyfriend ever he comes walking with me on the beach, we go otu together, live together.i love him unconditionally. Well hes a barman and can drink whatever he wants for free in his bar and the odd time recently i noticed him coming in more drunk than usualthen last week he was violent nothing too bad but no violence is acceptable this has happened onnce before!!i understand this and we are on a break while i decide what to do as i love him so much and want to make this worknow my high school love emailled me this week as he found out i was home seeing family and wants to meet up etc and all these feelings came back is this normal for someone who loves someone so much or is it just because im going through a bad patch?i want to say yes just to meet up see how he is but i dont as i dont want feelings to flood back as i love my partner.please help all you can i know its a long thread sorry!!
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a break, best friend, drunk, fell in love, split up, violent Reply to this Question
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female
reader, kirsty_123us +, writes (23 May 2008):
kirsty_123us is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you for your fast replies you have made me think about 2 things. 1 which is what happens next with my current does it happen again which im not going to let happen.
Also i would need to speak to my ex alot more before even thinking of meeting him as it could be just that hes a friendly face i trust
thanks again
kirsty :)
A
male
reader, a_decent_1  +, writes (23 May 2008):
 "Fall Back" ... It's just because you are going through a Bad Phase in your life and see a NEW LIGHT..
(1) FIRST LOVE and FIRST CRUSH are different.
(2) High School love stories are High School dramas when we all are in an age of falling for the opposite sex.
(3) High School Love is "Easily Forgotton" once you find your real soul-mate .. !!
This was just to let you know that you're probably thinking about your High School Drama just coz you're going through hard times... If you had loved him you would never have loved your present guy as much.. ;)
We all need to understand that Knowledge of LOVE comes with AGE... The meaning of love changes Dramatically when we reach 20... Love at 15 and Love at 20 are TWO Completely differt things.. !!
Personally, I think you SHOULD dump your Present Bf.. Because he abused you, not bcoz your High School Mate is back.. ;)
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A
male
reader, Collaroy  +, writes (23 May 2008):
 Hi,
normally I would say be loyal to your partner.
But hell, not in this case. You are in stage 1 of being the battered housewife. Stage 1 is just a few slaps or a bit of bruising followed by lots of apologies. Stage 2 he really starts at you with closed fist punches, you dont want to be around for this because you will be so humiliated that you will be too afraid to tell any of your friends and family and he will know that he can keep you under control and give you a good kicking when he comes home pissed again.
There are two types of men on this earth. Type 1 finds any violence towards women the most heinous crime a man can commit. Type 2 thinks that woman are there to serve men and if that means they have to get a slap to keep them in line so be it.
You have type 2, do you really want to be a battered woman, spending time trying to hide brusies from your friends and family because you love your perfect partner so much, and he only does it because he loves me...etc etc.
Your current guy is a drunk and a violent man. Stay the hell away from him, flirt madly with your old boyfriend - he didnt beat you up did he?
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