A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:ok so i was on facebook looking through my friends photo album when i seen a guy i was attracted to, now i dont usually do this but my friend convinced me to randomly add him so i did. after he private msged me asking if i knew him and that he doesnt remember meeting me, i answered to be honest ur profile just caught my attention and wanted to talk i hope you dont mind he replied no not at all.........so we then started talking on msn and he was very staright forward with his question what attracted me to him and what was on my mind, i told him 1st lets talk and see how that goes then maybe later on 1 day we can hang out and he was all for it, he told me how pretty i was and he said he wished he knew me and then said ur a fox arnt you....and that he liked that i came off so strongthe next day he told me that i was very nice but he found it to be a lil shifty that i was attracted to him from a picture then he told me even tho he isnt in a relationship he is committed to a girl and that he just wasnt feeling it....now we are no longer friends on facebook and no longer on eachothers msn list.now i know i dont know him but my bestfriend's sister does so to me it made things less creepy and like i said i never done that beforeim just wondering why he changed his mind so fast?btw he is 2 yrs younger than me but is mature, he is 1 yr ahead and is already in university
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female
reader, Lovely Sweet Laura +, writes (26 November 2009):
 Sounds like he has some unfinished business with his last relationship and likely thought you were a little to good to be true. He may have insecurity issues about women if he has been hurt in the past. He may even have a sister or friend who believes that girls who pursue men are in fact not so wholesome and they may have convinced him you were a waste of time especially if they knew he was still devoted to someone else...Men are funny creatures and if they are confused about things the can be influenced easily as we all can. I wouldn't be surprised if eventually he learns the people who are influencing are looking out for his best interest that he makes contact with you again-but really if someone is going to judge you without knowing you I wouldn't say they are worth your time. He is likely committed to a girl that he can't have-he is likely a guy who likes the chase-most do. Him knowing you were attracted to him that easily was a thrilling compliment at first and then became unsatisfactory because he knew he could have you if he decided to pursue-it may be foolish but is best to leave a man thinking he might not be able to have you. In the wild the male pursues the female. It is all part of the dance. Human males like to do the same and we as strong independent females debilitate this natural instinct in them by being to available-it kinda sucks and sounds sorta sexist but it is human nature-it is not something we can change. Let someone find you who is willing to put the effort into getting to know you before passing judgment. Don't let this guys unusual action affect you in anyway because they are completely out of your hands. You are a creature unlike any other!
A
female
reader, Frenzotic  +, writes (26 November 2009):
 You pretty much told him straight away you were attracted to him, you coming out of the blue, he didn't know who you were but was flattered that you liked him.
He may have been harmlessly flirting back to you.
He was wary about the attraction you got of him through a photo and to stop anything further happening he decided it was best to tell you though he wasn't with a girl but he was committed.
I think it was all harmless flirting.
Next time I suggest you add people but get to know them before jumping in and telling them what's on your mind and what you like about them etc...
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