A
male
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:This is very complicated. My girlfriend who has a 2 yr old with her ex... who abandoned them for a high paying job out of state.... began dating me knowing that I was married but ending my marriage. While we fell in love ..over a two month period of time.... her ex came to visit and brought his parents. She let them all stay with her in her townhouse and proceeded to not talk to me or see me for that entire weekend. After repeatedly promising me that she'd never let him stay alone with her a month and a half later he manipulated her by paying for a $1,300 flight for the said two year old so my ex could go see her family in germany. She went back on her word and allowed him to stay with her alone in her townhouse even though she admitted to me that has been trying to win her back. She accused me of being unreasonably jealouse but the next day...after he spent the night trying to win her back..... she admitted what he did but refused to talk about the RESULTS with me... A week passed while I was hurting... I than went CIA on her and via a fake facebook message got her to say her FIANCE was in Virginia! SHe says she knew it was me.... We've broken up over this... SHe says I'm crazy and jealouse I say her behavior caused it. Your thoughts.
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female
reader, Frenzotic  +, writes (26 November 2009):
 Your feelings were valid and not unreasonable at all. She told you he was trying to win her back...even more reason for you to feel cautious, wary, even angry but by using this emotion to respond to the situation could make her feel rather annoyed.
It would of been best if you sat her down and told her something along the lines of "Look, I'm not comfortable with you allowing him to stay, especially since he's trying to win you back, do you know how that makes me feel? What's to become of us/our relationship? Where do i stand?"...
She refused to tell you what happened on the journey, that would just add fuel to the fire as she already knows your feelings regarding the situation. It did not help with her response on facebook either.
Did you guys sit down, talk through it calmly and lay down some firm rules to guard your relationship? Maybe it would of helped you both open up to each other's feelings.
Clearly she feels angry with your reactions to the situation but seriously she should of thought about how it would have affected you as well, how to reassure you, how she should of handled the situ as to not jeopardise the relationship with you.
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